A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a question that I really need help answering. I have been in love with this man for almost 4 years, we dated for about 2 years and then we broke it off and decided to remain best friends. Trouble is I am still in love with him and I think he is in love with me to and just wont say it because he is now engaged to be married. We talk on the phone ALL day long, he lives in a different state then I do now and we flirt and all that. He claims we broke up only because I was going through a divorce and he couldn't wait for me any longer. He has said he loved me a few times and then really fast will call me back and say you know as a friend right and things like that. He tells me that if things had been different would would be together and that if he wasn't with his woman that he would be with me. We have everything in common and they have nothing at all. He says he is in love with her but, I think its bc he wanted to move out of the home he was in before they got together and she has a great job and makes alot of money and she could offer him things I cant. He always says that "you know were friends right", that like if anyone asked why we talk all the time and spend ALL day talking until she comes home from work he says we are best friends why cany we, you replsect my relationship right? And he says I care so much for you but, I am in love with her but, when he talks about the wedding he wants to change the subject, when I talk about her he doesnt want too and I just think he moved in with her cause she has money and he likes the fine things in life. Do you think he really is into me too and hides it? Thanks for listening.
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best friend, broke up, divorce, engaged, flirt, money, moved in, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree that marriage for the love of money instead of the love for a person is not a good idea at all so I do agree that I should move on but, the problem is that we are best friends and have been, we tell each other everything, we talk for hours on top of hours to each other everyday except the weekends when she is off. He acts different around me when she is home and then when she is at work he acts like we are the best of friends again and that he cares for me. I know that he cares more than a friend would bc why if he isn't getting sex or anything else out of me would he spend ALL his free time with me?
He always tells me that we have so much in common, and we do. They have nothing in common and he says that he is in love with her but, than he cracks jokes about her behind her back, and many more things that I could go into details on but, I wont bore everyone with the details. I guess a woman can just feel in her heart when a man wants her but, can't have her. He told me before if things we different and he wasn't with her then he would be with me. I don't know he lies about things and he did whenever we dated but, for some reason I trust him. HELP!!!
A
female
reader, chibvukubvuku  +, writes (2 May 2009):
 the fact that he is choosing money over real love is reason enough for you to doubt his love for you. he is not good enough for you so remain friends and remove the love thing from your head.its not easy but hey you dont have to break your heart over a money hungry man
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 April 2009):
You need to come out and confront him.
Tell him you still love him and want him back. Tell him you think he loves you too.
Then he needs to chose. Her or you.
If he picks you then great. If he picks her then you HAVE to leave him alone and stop talking to him. You need to get over him and you can't be his friend and do that at the same time.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, auntsallyhelpsU +, writes (30 April 2009):
 I think you should say have a nice wedding and get on with your life.If he loved you he would be with you.
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