A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey what's goin on. I need a bit of advice. I'm in a relationship with a little more of a couple years and a half. We both are 18 "high school sweethearts" you may think. But I was wondering if it's normal for an 18 year old to have urges and wants from his g.f (physically). So we are close.. and tell each other things like I told her I masturbated to the thought of her and she was very fine and glad that I am very well interested in her in that sense. And when we are physical we get pretty darn physical (but no types of Sex). I mean we don't have a lot of time for ourselves where we can be physical and I have told her what desires I have physically and she has the same feelings.However it seems like we never can have time for ourselves and is it bad at my age to feel desperate for her? I do love her and I do what I can to make her happy but a while back we were very horny for several days but every time I would try to make time for us...it didn't work and ever since we became physical (earlier in our relationship), every time I do try it never works. And she called it a "phase"(of us being horny) and it seems nothing goes well to have time for us. She's scared that I could lose my interest In her but I'm frustrated that even making out/kissing is rare. She knows I'm bothered physically and she knows the risks or dangers of what supposably can happen yet no effort seems to be made. She told me that she now wants to take care of me physically cuz I'm always taking care of her but I don't believe her because when I have she doesn't do anything. And ever since she said she wanted to take care of me several days ago we have Not kissed, been physical, or excited. That's why I don't let her "take care of me" because when she says that everything dies off, even texting and calling become boring. Do I keep faith? Is it bad that i dont wanna try anymore or losing interest physically?? Thank you and God Bless.
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female
reader, LoveForeverxoxo +, writes (2 July 2012):
It sounds like she really likes you and wants to become physical but maybe she's not ready? Women are always afraid to tell a man, their not ready for sex then they start putting pressure on themselves and think stuff like, is he going to leave me cause i wont do this? and it makes her push away even more. And you seem a little to rushed, like your really getting annoyed with her? which i can understand cause men have needs to. But i really think you should give it time and eventually it will happen. Maybe it just hasnt been the right moment for her? Here's a little tip, when your feeling horny don't say anything just start being really sweet to her. ( Make sure your away from people and alone just chilling) talk sweet to her. Tell her she's beautiful. Maybe even try something romantic? It always helps a women to relax if you keep her calm by complementing her making her feel sexy. But don't make it a habbit of doing it just for sex, cause then eventually she'll figure it out and it wont work any longer. Do it even when your not in the mood, just to make her feel good ya know? and you'll be suprised how much she'll be wanting you.But if it doesnt work out. and she isnt ready or isnt comfortable which thats what it sounds like, then dont pressure her and dont get frustrated. Just give her time.Good luck to you both xoxo
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 If you don't own your places it can be hard to have sex. Even if you gained your parents' permission to let your girlfriend stay overnight it would be awkward doing it, worrying it would wake people up. She doesn't seem ready for sex but will do it to keep you. This is not a healthy attitude to have. You have to reassure her that even if you don't have sex you are still very interested in her. It is totally normal to have urges. Being horny is not a phase, although it can be that exciting feeling would become more like comfort, companionship and connection later when the novelty dies down. You should still have desires for each other until old age. Sex is a beautiful thing for bonding but at the same time it is overrated, like it is some magic you must have in order to be happy. You should definitely find activities you can both enjoy together that would take your mind off sex. It is the things in between sex that make a relationship interesting. The action of sex takes anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 hours. It should not occupy your mind the whole day. You will never lose interest physically. Don't look at it as a part of you dying down. Convert that energy into creativity, planning for the future, things that do matter in life. The faster you get independent, the more freedom you have.
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