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We never fight. Is that normal?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2010)
A female , *ecretly In Love writes:

Me and my boyfriend are in love. We've been dating for over a year, but we never fight. Is that normal?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010):

hey, i don't think its abnormal at all. As long as you do discuss your problems or tiny issues that you might have you're safe. if you don't that doesn't mean that you're ignoring your problems maybe you just don't wanna jinx it coz its going well. In this case what you should do is start discussing it, but do it slowly and gradually also keep an open mind about what he says and encourage him to speak his mind

remember no matter what he says you should appreciate the fact that he's honest about it. but please don't start fighting because of tiny issues. as far as possible don't fight always discuss things out, even if you're really mad

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A female reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (23 March 2006):

PrunellaGringepith agony auntWhile some might think it is great that you never argue, if this means that the two of you are not confronting your problems than it is not a good sign at all.

I am in no way trying to pin the blame on you, but could it be that he is worried about either hurting you, or you jumping down his throat somehow? If you are the type of person who gets easily hurt by criticism, or flies into a tantrum, then maybe he is just trying to avoid a big scene.

It sounds like he is the type of person (like my husband) who hates conflicts or confrontation. Try giving him a gently, calm, no-pressure kind of way for the two of you to discuss any problems where he can be sure that you are not going to burst into tears or start shouting at him.

Not every couple has big fights or arguements, personally I can think three that my husband and I have had in our 5 years of seeing each other, but it is important to get your feelings out in the open.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006):

I think you'd better try to discuss things and get problems out in the open. Otherwise one of you will probably feel like exploding one of these days. If you hold things in that you think are problems, and just keep swallowing them and forgetting about them, it can build up resentment for the other person in the long run. It's hard to get a guy to talk, they would rather just ignore problems and run away. He might be afraid of upsetting you and that you would get emotional (most guys really fear dealing with emotions). So as long as you express your feelings without getting emotional and without blaming, you can get him to talk more. If he loves you, he will care if something is important to you.

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A female reader, MissAgonyAunt +, writes (19 March 2006):

MissAgonyAunt agony auntAre u serous? just becoz u never argue doesnt meen is this normal ? cant belive u asked that darlin thats a really good relestionship there and eyah it is normal get ova it and just be happy Peace

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A female reader, Secretly In Love +, writes (19 March 2006):

Secretly In Love is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But it's not that we understand each other...its that whenever he gets mad, he never wants to make a big deal about it. Not only do we not fight, it's like he's afraid to talk about us. And it bothers me because we don't ever get anything accomplished then, it just keeps bugging us but we learn to forget it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006):

It's great that you don't fight with your boyfriend. The only reason it wouldn't be normal is if one of you is supressing your true feelings. If one is always giving in and agreeing with the other so as to avoid any arguments, then that would not be good. Eventually that person will not be able to keep it up.

If you can have disagreements and discuss everything openly, then you're in a great relationship!

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A female reader, MarthaZ +, writes (19 March 2006):

MarthaZ agony auntConsider yourself lucky! If you've been with someone for over a year and haven't argued means you two have an incredible understanding of each other, don't feel the need to argue for the sake of it and, put it simply, compatible for each other. But don't freak out if you two do argue at some point, that's normal too and may learn something new about your partner you didn't know before. No couples are the same, if it's working for you two then you're on the right track!

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A female reader, Starrla +, writes (19 March 2006):

Starrla agony auntYeah,it's normal it just means that.Ya'll trust each other 100 percent,and a better reason to stay together for along time.

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