A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiMy boyfriend of 11months has just told me that we should go on a break. We have been arguing quite alot lately and it was really getting him down. He has told me that he needs a break to work out if he really wants to be in a relationship right now as it brings so much pressure. He also says that I dont need to be in a relationship right now, as I need to sort my head out..which I totally agree with.Since going onto the pill, I have been getting quite emotional randomly. I will just burst into tears randomly, for no reason. But I have also had alot of pressure and stress put on me at work over the past couple of months. This has really got me down and depressed, and I think I may have been taking it out on him in a way. It has really knocked my confidence so I would always take things personally, whether be comments made by his friends or that he wanted a guys night. I am also very worn out by everything at work, so I think that is where my short temper has come from. We would be out at the pub, and something would happen and I would just flip, its really not like me but it made it worse because he reacted to it and we are both stubborn so neither of us were willing to back down. He thought I didnt trust him, as I would always pester him 4 the name of the girl who tried to kiss him, and I would find it wierd to hear him making sexual comments to other girls (even tho i know he is joking as its just his sense of humour).Since he broke up with me, I have realised so much. I know I can trust him, because if he was going to cheat on me he wudve already done it. Ive been to the doctor and explained how I am feeling, and she has put me on a lower dose of the pill. I am hoping this will help me stop getting so emotional as it produces less hormones. I love him so much and want him back. He is my first love, I lost my virginity to him and we are so close. I know he still loves me, and he tells me he just needs some time to think about what he wants, and give me time 2 sort myself out. It hurts so much tho, so it is hard to concentrate on sorting myself out..cuz i want to do is get back with him.We talk everyday, and we wont stop seeing each other. I am just scared he will decide he has had enough of relationships because of wot I put him thru.He is the nicest guy in the world, and I love him 2 bits. Its just tearing me apart the thought of losing him as my boyfriend. I dont know how much more I can take. Please help.
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a break, at work, broke up, confidence, depressed, lost my virginity, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): It, doesn't matter if YOU think you are the girl for him. It is all about how he feels about you and what he wants...and it sounds to me like he is breaking up with you.
I still stand on him being disrespectful to you. You are making excuses for his jerky behavior...so remember, we teach people how to treat us. If you think it's OK, then don't complain because you will get more of the same.
By the way, it takes two people to argue.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe didnt kiss anyone else, sum drunk girl just went in 4 a kiss and he backed away. The sexual comments arent a sign of him breaking up with me, it really is just his sense of humour..he even does it to guys! Looking back now on our relationship, that means nothing. I know that i am the only girl 4 him, he was even saying to me the other week that he can imagine marrying me. He just doesnt like the arguments which I started. I know that I can change that because I have changed so much over the past few days. I dont let work get to me, and Im a happier person. The only thing I do need to work on now is having some time off work. Im worn out, so is he, and I just think we need some time. Im confident that we will get back together, but I just dont know if I should be thinking like that..
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A
female
reader, shortcakes  +, writes (17 July 2009):
Time apart sometime may be risky or time apart will help both of you to know what it is you want in a strong relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Relationships take two willing partners. Every relationship has it's challenges and no one is immune from stress, bad moods, or even hormones.
I don't like the sounds of you making excuses for your boyfriend getting kissed by other girls and him making sexual comments to other girls....he was kidding, so what? That is disrespectful to you, especially if you were there at the time, that and him asking for a break and saying he is not sure he wants to be in a relationsip sounds to me that he is trying to break up with you without hurting you so he can be single.
This is not uncommon in people or guys in your age group. He probably is not at a place in his life where he is prepared to settle down with one woman and being his girlfriend to him just means that the two of you are dating and that's it. Dating is not the same as a promise to be together forever, it means that the relationship will come to an end at some point unless he is ready to step up and claim you as his one and only whom he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
If I were you, I wouldn't contact him, I wouldn't answer his calls or see him. He asked for a break, which is the same as a break up in my mind. Give him the gift of missing you and spend time doing the things you did before you met him, things you enjoy doing on your own. You can also go out on a date with someone else if you want, too.
I would try and put your focus on you and not on him as hard as it will be to do, and decide if he is good enough for you, what with all the flirting with other women, etc.
You may just be able to do better than him and you may be happier being single yourself for awhile. He may be your first, but trust me he won't be your last.
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