A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:I've just come out of a relationship. It lasted for 3 months over the summer holiday, and it has ended now that I have gone back to university. We broke up only yesterday, and I know that's not a lot of time to allow for mourning, but at the moment I feel quite distraught. In the weeks leading up to the break up I felt fine, but now that the time has come, I'm very upset.Worse still, we can't seem to decide what either of us want. I don't want a long distance relationship, and she says that if we aren't going to continue a relationship, we should cut contact. The problem is, neither of us really want to. I know deep down I will heal quicker if I don't speak to her, but a part of me is hesitant, and so is a part of her.What should we do? We miss eachother loads, how can we possibly cut contact?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): just because the relationship was only 3 months doesnt mean he can just console himself with the fact that it was so short lived. alot can happen in 3 months.. lots of fond memories, great times spent together, falling in love.. don't just write it off for being a summer fling, cuz often times thats the last thing it is. maybe theyre ment to be toether for forever.. you never know what can happen, so dont ever dismiss love lightly.there's really nothing anyone can say or do to help you feel any better about the situation.. try talking to her, telling her you really care for her still and want her to have a part in your life, but leave it up to her to make the ultimate decision.and remember.. it's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): You stated that she has told you that there will be no relationship. Respect what she says and honor it. You already know it is best not to have contact, as you said.
Three months is a very short time. It is about 12-13 weeks, or 91 days at the most. Take away from that all the days you didn't see each other, and it is probably less time. I am just trying to give you a mathematical perspective to see how much time you actually invested in the relationship. If you saw her 3 times a week, for example, you only saw each other 30 days, which is actually one month.
Try to picture yourself back three months ago when you were not in a relationship. Start there and move forward again.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): You stated that she has told you that there will be no relationship. Respect what she says and honor it. You already know it is best not to have contact, as you said.
Three months is a very short time. It is about 12-13 weeks, or 91 days at the most. Take away from that all the days you didn't see each other, and it is probably less time. I am just trying to give you a mathematical perspective to see how much time you actually invested in the relationship. If you saw her 3 times a week, for example, you only saw each other 30 days, which is actually one month.
Try to picture yourself back three months ago when you were not in a relationship. Start there and move forward again.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Andy-
That sucks some major balls. I know how you feel. I had this amazing relationship with this guy over the summer to.. but we had to break it off when he left for college and I stayed back to continue high school. There's really not much you can do, just follow your heart and remember that only time can heal a broken heart. If she's really that special to you, perhaps later on in life when your both in the same place you can pick up where you left off? And if you really don't want to lose her, perhaps try the long distance thing on for size? Or just try to stay friends. I hope everything works out.. and hang in there. I'm sure you two can figure something out, and hopefully save yourselfs a lot of heartache.
Best of luck!
Haleigh
PS Perhaps try dating someone else? Altho for me that just back fired terribly, maybe it'd work for you?
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