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female
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anonymous
writes: I thought I was in love...I met a wonderful man with great qualities on line. He flew in from out of state to visit and we hit it off. He got along great with my children as well. I met him 1 1/2 years after my divorce. When he flew back home we both couldn't wait to talk to eachother on a daily basis. All our conversations were wonderful and we spoke hours about many life type issues and we seem to agree with just about everything. After a few months of doing this, he told me he loved me. I felt that I did too and he said he couldn't live without me. I felt the same. We mututally agreed that he move to my home. Basically, he left his job, family, etc. to be with me. However, the moment he arrived, he showed more interest in watching a sport. I continued to observe that he was a couch potatoe and didn't show much emotion as he had on the phone. Movies seem to be his passion to the point he was downloading movie lines to use as part of a conversation. He also is compulsive with his clothes, meaning he wears his clothes exactly in the order they are hung in the closet and wears the jeans next in line in the drawer. It was not long that I began to wonder if I had made a mistake. Then, my teenange daughters made a comment to me that it didn't seem that we were very happy and they felt uncomfortable. It was not surprise to me because I was feeling the same way. After 1 1/2 months of soul searching I realized that I don't live this guy. I suddenly began to feel a since of responsibility for him leaving his state to be with us. However, I don't want to be in a loveless relationship. Prior to him coming, we discussed all the possibilites, and one of them was in the case things didn't work out. This is not the case I was hoping for, but we had said that if things didn't work out, we would be understaning of it. However, my heart breaks for him because I feel he is now here with no family or friends. I am unsured what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2006): It sounds like you were both clear from the beginning that this could be a 'trial run'. You're comparatively lucky that it only took you 1.5 months of living with this guy to realize the spark wasn't really there. By turn, it won't be that hard for him to return home if he's only been gone that long. Since he did leave home for the both of you, consider helping him pay for his return (moving expenses etc), and act quickly! The sooner you end things, the less complicated it'll be.
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