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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello, Well, this is my situation. I have known a girl very distantly for around two years, we were previously both in very long term relationships, but I always admired her from afar, and had a very platonic email correspondence with her. Anyway, recently I split from my girlfriend of 7 years and after a couple of months thought I'd get in touch with this girl (who had also become single earlier). She plays in a band, as do I, and I asked her if she had any gigs coming up as it would be nice to see her. She replied to say no, but that we should meet up anyway! I agreed, and we exchanged numbers, and arranged to meet a fortnight later. We did meet up, had a lovely dinner and went for a drink. By this point I think we were both a little drunk, and she began to explain her recent past, that she had got out of an engagement around 9 months ago, fallen straight into a fascination with another guy, which didn't work out and left her very hurt. She explained that she didn't feel at all ready for a relationship at this stage, and I thought ok cool, makes sense. However, she then went on to kiss me, quite passionately, and carried on for the next hour or so, all the way until she caught her train and the doors closed. We were in contact again in the week, but only very briefly by text, and were seeing each other anyway the following Saturday at the party of a mutual friend. We chatted there and it was nice, and kissed again, but only a quick one before saying goodbye. Two days later I decided to get in touch to say hello and ask if she fancied meeting up again soon. She replied that she would give me a call, which she did and explained again that she wasn't ready for a relationship and so thought we should just be friends, that she really wanted us to stay in touch by whatever means, and that she did want to meet up, maybe in a few weeks. She explained that she was sorry if she had led me on, and would try not to kiss me etc next time, but that she did really like me, and that was why she had done what she did. I said that it sounded sensible, and in fact I was in a similar situation, and probably shouldn't rush into anything. Anyway, I am totally infatuated by this girl, and wanted to know what to do. Should I take a hint that if she was sooo attracted to me, then she would be blind to logic, and just want to see me anyway, and it is quite a convenient way to say 'thanks, but no thanks' without hurting the other person too much. Or should I try and stay friends with her, all the time wishing it was more? I'm confused, please help!
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female
reader, bellachic385 +, writes (2 November 2006):
 Well this is tough! She did lead you on but you both might have been a little drunk. So I would stay friends with her and see where that takes you. Then after you meet up a few more times see how she feels and then say what you feel.
This whole situation could be caused from something major could have happened in her last relationship and doesn't want it to happen again even it you are as sweet as you sound. Once she realized what she did she might have had a second thought. Make her think of you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, steemo  +, writes (2 November 2006):
 sounds like this girl is just having a little fun she may want her freedom for a while but at least she has been honist just go with the flow you never no we all change our minds sometimes good luck with it
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