| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a 21 yrs old female and was dating this amazing guy for 3 years (who is now 23). Things were always amazing in our relationship except that we would have "heated conversations" about how we would get married and how our kids would be raised (ie: if we would circumsize them) since we are both from different religions. He has had a lot of issues growing up as he was abused by his father until he was 7 who then left never to see him again, and his mom who got remarried twice after and is now moving overseas to live with her new husband who is more than 20 years younger than her (despite this she is an amazing mother). However, I feel because of this he is very afraid of commitment and having children of his own (in the near or distant future). He broke up with me 3 months ago with no reason other than that I made him "fall out of love with me b/c i scared him talking about marriage and that I didnt understand that he was so against circumsizing his kids (im jewish and my religion requires it).After we broke up we continued seeing each other by me pushing myself with reasons to go visit him which made him get very annoyed b/c he said he needed to not see me for a while-and he said maybe that while is never again.This went on for two months until he finally said that. The last night I saw him we ended up sleeping together-him starting everything and ended with me very upset after he told me he was very interested in another girl that he was seeing and said we couldnt be friends b/c whenever he saw me he thinks of me in a sexual way and cant stop himself and that whatever relationship he would be in he would screw it up and didnt want to do that. However this is very OUT OF CHARACTER as he was an amazing bf and would NEVER even look at another girl while with me. That was the last time we spoke-i was crying so he left.The last time we spoke was over 1 mo ago. My question is ...what now? Do I even contact him for christmas or his birthday in Jan?? It just been so long and its still not getting any easier. He is the love of my life and all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with him.
View related questions:
broke up, christmas, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brokenhearted +, writes (12 December 2005):
This is so freaky, I'm in the exact same situation, I'm 21 my bf 23 and we've been going out for 3 years. I should actually say my ex-bf! We weren't getting on, he needed space, I kept ringing, he got even more unsure, he kissed another girl at his christmas work party, he still really cares about me, called over to see me to make sure i was ok, ended up in bed together and then he started talking bout the girl he kissed and how she was really nice and how they were ringing eachother and would probably end up going out!!!
Anyway I know its really hard but you should really try and cool it off. If you fell out with your best friend and she had upset you over something really stupid but she kept ringinfg you and asking to be your friend again, wouldn't that really annoy you? But if you knew she was sorry and seen her out some day with other friends, chances are you'd get talking and realise what you had in the first place!
I know it seems really stupid but boys are and once you confuse them, nagging doesn't really help! I know its extremely hard, trust me this has been going on for 2 months with me and I think finally I realise that I don't need him but I need to work on myself, go out and enjoy life and hopefully sopme day our paths will cross again!!
I don't believe your bf could stop loving you! He might say that so that you'll move on, he does care which is obvious from the fact that he allowed you to stay in contact. He just isn't 100% sure anymore and he knows how much it is hurting you not knowing so its better if he just lets you go! Seriously, you know him better than anyone, just try and see it from his point of view and in the mean time, pamper yourself, have lots of girly chats, ring them everytime you want to ring him, the phone bill might get very expensive but its def worth your piece of mind!
You'll be ok,it mighten seem it at the mo but chin up, smile and the next time he sees you out he'll be wondering what he lost!! And who knows you might even be over him by then! Though thats wishful thinking I suppose:-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005): i know how you feel my ex broke up with me i kept talking rings and marriage and it ran him off back to his ex they were together on and off for 7 years not longer than 3 months at a time were they together. but he is friends with her now and we have sex but i wnat a relationship both of us know him and his ex cant work she wont even make time for him i do. i went threw his text msgs when i shouldnt have and saw that he mentioned to her that he might be moving out of state in june (i get out of boot camp for the army in june) and he mentioned that i asked him to come with me when i didnt but he knows i would love for him to and that the army will help pay for a house if we are married i am confussed also but all i can say is go with your heart but do talk to other people also dont put your life on hold forever and make sure he knows that. my ex wasnt talking to me then he heard from someone that i was going to the army and now he started talking to me after 3 months of silence. who knows but he knows im not gonna put my life on hold for him he san stay behind or follow me. i hope he follows but i gota do whats less stressful for me and that is take care of my life first before any guy. keep that in mind. but we didnt talk and he moved changed his number and all that to make sure i wouldnt find him then somehow he got my new cell number and text me hello thats how a friendship started after 3 months. good luck to you thats a hard one
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005): Darling,no reply for months says plenty,he is not interested in the relationship and maybe that was all it had-just sex.He has lots of issues to deal with hon,he has shown you no signs of committing but yet he tells you he wants to be faithful to his other gf,come on think here,sorry to say,you have been used,i say forget him,and its not easy to do so,but it is best for you,it is time to let go and move on,take care!
...............................
|
