A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Recently it's like he's lost all interest in being intimate with me. Just tonight actually he told me that he thinks sex is a meaningless act! How could you possibly think that it's meaningless being intimate with the person you share your life with? Every other aspect of our relationship is great. We cuddle and hold hands when we go out. We live together. I don't know what to do here I feel like my needs/feelings are being neglected by him. I haven't let myself go. He still calls me beautiful. What should I do? I don't understand this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 February 2010):
If sex is a meaningless act then tell him he must think your feelings are pretty meaningless too.
Tell him you can't be with someone who thinks like that and go to your friend's house for a couple of days.
He will have some problem that's stopping him wanting you, either depression or he might be ill and that's stopping him getting erections. BUT rather than confess this weakness to you, he's trying to overcompensate and argue his way out of it. Because let's face it, us girls love a man who'll yell us down..... Yeah, stupid but that's how his little brain is telling him it works.
If you throw a fit and FORCE him to confront his problem or lose you, then he'll realise he's being an idiot and get over his pride and tell you what the problem is so you can sort it out.
Worth a shot? It's just a suggestion.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 It would not seem to make any sense to me either.
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A
female
reader, amyh +, writes (6 February 2010):
I think thats a very odd thing for a man to say period. Im not saying he is cheating on you but never rule that out. If all of a sudden the sex has stopped...thats a red flag. Talk to him about it ...if he dosnt want to talk about it...then step back for a while and dont approach him at all in a sexual way. See how he responds to that. If that dosnt bother him..the fact that you are not approaching him sexually or your not even mentioning sex to him....than he is lame and you need to figure out if you want to waste your time with someone like that..because it lowers your self-esteem and thats not good. His loss ...girls always have the upper hand ..remember that..girls rule.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Ask yourself some simple questions :Did he initiate sex in the past?Did he enjoy having sex with you?Did he care about sex,aka did he suggest new positions etc?If he never liked sex(oh yes,some men are this way!) ,then he just did it to please YOU and now he felt it's about time he came out.If he was a freak and now all of a sudden he doesn't wanna have sex,something might be going on.Either you guys got too comfortable with each other,and the mystery's gone.Or...he's thinking of someone else.After you have this talk with yourself,proceed and have a talk with him.Do not appear weak.Be confident and strong.Tell him you need to know why he changed and also stress that sex is important to you. Let him know how you feel but dont make it sound like you're begging him.No sad tone in your voice.It's HE that has to give you answers,not vice versa.
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