A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my boyfriend now for 2 years... yes he was still married when we started dating we were not intimate right away because he was married but once he decided that he would divorce we did become intimate. Yes I know that this is wrong but cannot be changed at this point. He moved out and filed divorce about 6 weeks after we were first intimate. His wife found out about me during that six weeks and of course blames me for everything. It is now two years later his divorce has been final for over a year we still see each other every possible moment when he is not with his child (who is 10). Although he would like me to meet his child his ex believes that I am not the type of person that she wants her child around due to the fact that we were together while they were married... this was wrong but it happend and we are really in love and feel that we do belong together yet she does not want her child around me. I have 3 children of my own which are much older. At this point I have come to accept that this is their child and not mine to decide what is right and what is not... I am willing at this point to accept the circumstances and just wait it out because of my love for him. I sometimes wonder though if I will be waiting a very long time for this to happen. He seems to be afraid that if he introduces us that the child will go home to the Mom and then the Mom will say that that is the women your father left us for. She has had a boyfriend and he has met the child... not sure if they are still together or not. I have met all his family members other than his child. Do I just continue to wait and see or is it time to make some demands of my own?????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): you see you are the cause of breaking up her home, how can you expect her to send her child to you. you can have her husband but you have no right to demand a part of HER child. if you so badly want to play mum hen consider having a 4th child with this man. i think you have done enough damage to this woman already. her child is not yours and please do not try to stamp your authority on this child. "It is now two years later his divorce has been final for over a year we still see each other every possible moment when he is not with his child" strange why your married man doesn't marry you now that he is free. you see, he too has made a decision not to have you in his childs life. your lover may bitch about his wifes attitude but his attitude regarding your presence in his childs life speaks volumes. often it is not what is said that is important, it is the unsaid things that speaks volumes. your lover may be ashamed of what he has done to break up his home. you on the other hand have no qualms about being the homewrecker, your lover does not want to face his child and does not want to answer some hard questions that may be posed by his child to him. please leave this woman alone. you got what you wnated: her husband. but you would not get her child. you have to accept this and stop pressuring your lover to meet his child. your lover too has made his decision that you will not play a role in his childs life. his wife has suffered already at your hands. she is entitled to make a decision as to who gets into contact and who has influence over her child. sometimes the other woman just doesn't know when to quit - just like you are now doing.
A
female
reader, Love is all you need  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 i think you should leave it i mean the ex's bf i guess does have a right unlike you cause he left his family for you so....you cannot demand. whats so great bout meeting his kid anyway that relationships in the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks busy04... you have pretty much summed up my feelings
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (6 August 2009):
 Honestly I don't think you have a right to make demands right now. Exactly what could you say? Why is so important to meet the kid right now? Even though the situation happened & you can't change it, it still is their child:not yours (as you know) & if the mother doesn't want the kid around you just yet, you just have to suck it up and deal with it. I mean at least get beyond what you want for a minute & really think about this, their divorce is still fresh & obviously there are still some feelings of hurt, anger and etc. there where the mother is concerned and part of her way of dealing with it is by not letting the kid meet you. So what can you expect? You can't expect to be welcomed & greeted with open arms here. And yes the situation between you & the father happened and you can't change it blah, blah, blah: this was still a major thing for them and it takes time to get over it: fully! And evidently your boyfriend understands this or else he could go behind the mothers back & introduce you to his kid anyway, think about that. And the fact that the mother has/or had a boyfriend that has seen the kid already is irrelevant, because that situation was done for lack of a better word "morally", meaning after the divorce they hooked up. I'm not trying to be rude to you or anything but it is what it is,you asked for opinions, so that's mine.
You said you're willing to wait it out, so do just that: wait it out! And when the time is right, it'll happen. Patience is a virtue!
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