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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have recently been seeing someone and we get along very well. shes lovely I like her a lot and vice versa. however I have something on my mind which is bothering me. I'm bipolar and I don't know if I should tell her this. It shouldn't be wrong to tell her this but I don't want to scare her or freak her out...howz the best way to tell her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Askoldersister, thank you and i'm really so glad to know that you're confident, radiant and here helping people daily! I've known people I worked with who had depression of some level, and made it their job to let everyone know, and talk about how aweful it was. It always got on my nerves. It's hard to feel sorry for someone when they ask for it. But I see that you don't need, desire, nor ask for pity and I applaud your strength.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I was afraid i was terribly off and was feely guilty, but i'm glad to have askoldersister's point of veiw to back me up completely.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (6 August 2009):
Sincerely,
I think it just depends on the person. Because when my boyfriend told me, I way like, "Eh, whatever. You act fine and you seem to know what you're doing and you treat me well, so no big deal." Until out of control mood swings started happening, I was his punching bag for anything that happened bad in his life, and I was accused of ridiculous things that never happened. And his excuse was always, "Well you know I'm bipolar...I get pissed off easily."
I don't think you'd lose the love of your life because you told them sooner. Either a person is going to be accepting of it or they aren't. I think bipolar is a serious condition and someone should know before they get in too deep. Some are worse than others, I know. But from my experience, I better know damn fast if the person I'm dating is bipolar or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): This happened with my hub for instance. After we were married, he told me something quit alarming about himself. When we were in our beginning stages, I may have been afraid of this, but since he waited, it's just something else to love and appreciate about him. Now that I know everything about his person. This is a debateable subject.
~Sy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Yes well it would be a shame to potwntially lose the love of your life because she didn't know enough about you to be able to look passed the hard parts.
~Sy.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 August 2009):
Yes, you should tell her soon. My ex is bipolar and he told me early on in the relationship and I'm glad he did. It could scare her away, it might not, but that's the chance you have to take. I wouldn't wait until it's a "stronger" relationship, because to me that would seem like a manipulative thing to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): You should tell her the sooner the better. She has the right to know what she is getting in to before the relationship gets too deep. If you wait to tell her then you are proving to her that you can NOT be trusted.
She may decide that she is willing to continue to see you. Deceit is never a good idea in a relationship and to keep such important information from her is very deceitful.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): you deffinatly should tell her, she has the right. She might accept it or she might not, cause there is a slight chance your kids could turn out bipolar....she might not want that
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): How long have you been with her? I know how you feel. I've got quite a childhood that I wouldn't want to tell someone about unless I know they care about me for the right reasons. I would recommend waiting until you have developed a strong relationship and you two have eahc other's good and bac qualities settled out and have learned to accept both. She should know, but you need to protect your heart. Just make sure you don't wait too long or trus issues could develop. It shouldn't be a problem if you're on meds. But when you do tell her, just be straightforward. There's really no way to beat around the bush here, and it sholdn't be done anyway. Goodluck. If she loves your truely, she'll bare with it.
~Sy.
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