A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 17 years old, and I just started a relationship with a man who is 26. We both knew that we probably should not have, but we fell in love. I need help but I'm not even quite sure what I'm asking. What sort of problems does this relationship bring up? What can I do? Thanks.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 June 2007):
You do what you want to do and what ever makes you happy, any relationship can bring problems weather you are the same age or there is a gap but what really counts is how you deal with these problems if you work together and always talk to each other there is no reason why it could not work, i know many couples with an age gap between them and they are just as happy as the next couple.
Just make sure you are legal.
Be happy and take care.xx.
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (26 June 2007):
Well, first off there's a power difference (he has it and you don't). You'll need to be aware of it.
Second, depending on the laws of your state, don't have sex (in my state age of consent is 18). You could get him into trouble.
Third, watch how he is around your friends (or you around his). I dated a 29 year old when I was 19. We were both uncomfortable around the others' friends, even though we were absolutely comfortable around each other. It's a pain to have a relationship with someone when you can't hang with each other's friends. (We didn't last.)
Fourth, as you get older, you will change a lot (he won't change as much). The years between age 16 and 25 are HUGE when deciding who you are and what you want. It's likely that you'll be a totally different person when you're 25 than you are now. Don't let the relationship keep you from becoming who you want to be.
Take this really slow, hon. It is possible, but the odds are against you two. I wish you luck.
P.S. My mom was 18 when she married my 26-year-old dad. She wrote a poem many years later (got it published, and everything). I remember it because it's so short:
"You married a child. You encouraged her to become a woman. Can you love the woman, as you did the child?"
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