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female
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*nniel
writes: I have known a man for 14 years, he has been my best friend for 10 years and now we have found out that we are attracted to one another and we would be happy if we were living together. Unfortunately we are both married, and we are both unhappy in our marriage but we have children and because of all that he does not know what to do. We had a quick affair, we did not even sleep together, but we kissed and cuddled and saw each other every day just to be in each other company, but then he felt guilty and decided to stop touching me. We still see each other, but less often and on a friendship basis, just like before. We are so unhappy to be apart from each other, it is killing us. What can we do? What do you advice us to do? Thank you for your help
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male
reader, feelingood +, writes (8 September 2005):
The Grass is not always greener on the other side, but then again, you only live life once, so don't throw away your happiness when you could be happy. It sounds like you are a divorced woman in love with a divorced man living in the skin of a married woman in love with another married man. Get real with yourself (sorry Dr. Phil!).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005): Try to work on your marriage and seek some intensive couple counseling with your husband and save your marriage. The lines of communication and open discussions with hubby has broken down, badly here but your marriage is repairable. It's in a slump right now. The first step to avoiding affair with your friend is being able to understand WHY you are turning to him and not your husband. Be brutally honest with yourself. In a marriage, it is quite unrealistic to think that neither one of you will ever be attracted to anyone else. It happens but most of us, remember our strong committment to our spouses and family and find the strength to resist. Most married couples are actually far from honest with one another. They are only honest about subjects that aren't difficult, but dishonest about the things that really matter, the difficulties, frustrations and hurts in their relationship. This is WHY you need to talk, open the lines of honest communication to your husband and resolve issues that led you to seeking comfort in the arms of another man. Please seek counseling before you do anything else with this other man. Try and save your marriage. At least give it a chance before you give up. I wish you good luck and take care
Hugs,
Irish
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