A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 17 and although we are happy, I feel our relationship is just really boring. I was watching a show the other day and this couple did so many fun activities together and when we talk his sister, our friends etc they talk about how they do all this stuff together. We just don't do it. We used to go out for dinner a lot but even then we would just go home and watch a movie. We don't even go out, get drunk and go dancing or whatever together.I just feel like as much as we love each other, we say we're best friends but we don't do fun things like couples/best friends would do. Are we just really boring people? Are we doing something wrong? It all makes me feel kind of guilty!
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male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (16 September 2017):
 Here's my two cents from the mind of a guy relatively within the same age bracket. We're very simple beings. All you need to do is just tell us what you want. Doing boring activates without your input means that everything is peachy on your end. You don't have a problem with the usually routine. It could also mean that your boyfriend thinks that this is the type of stuff you like. Although it does seem as if he's the boring one, he's clearly doing what he likes. You on the other hand are not. Talk to him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 You are both out off the honeymoon period now and well you have settled in to a relationship. No it does not mean you are boring. However you are both still young so it is still good to do things with friends as well, girls nights out/in ect. If you feel your life is getting boring together then plan a weekend away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2017): People who have been together a long time become content and complacent. That mundane state of mind is really reserved for older married-couples.
Going out frequently can be costly; but most activities that include exercise and physical-effort are cheap or free. Like bicycling, a walk on the beach (or near any large body of water), or long strolls together. I love picnics in the park or on the beach; and going out for Latin dancing with my partner. It gets the brain oxygenated and the blood flowing. That increases your energy-levels; which makes it hard to just sit still. You two are much too young for that!
You're getting restless; so it's time you talk about it and start making a list of activities. Set money aside for it in the budget; and get out and do something.
Getting bored can be detrimental to a young relationship. The mind starts to wonder. You start picking at each others faults; and coming-up with wild ideas and suspicions. It is true; "the idle-mind IS the devil's workshop." Young people sitting around doing nothing will get you into mischief. If your partner is too much of a homebody; you'll soon tire of each other. You need air and recreation; not just sit around and bore each other to death. It's unhealthy in many ways.
Getting drunk is one example of the mischief that I was talking about. It either becomes a bad habit, or leads to trouble in the relationship. You've got to be more creative than that. Any numbskull can conquer that one!
You need excitement. Set aside money in the budget for a romantic weekend at a nice inn. Take a week's holiday someplace affordable. You just need to get off the couch. Join a gym together, and do some jazzercising; or join one of those basic-training exercise courses. You stay fit and you get really strong! You also meet fun people with other ideas and suggestions for adventure.
If you don't include physical-exercise in your routines; you'll gain excessive weight, get stiff, and your sex-drives will diminish. Your restlessness will turn to irritation; and you will start having sporadic disagreements. You'll begin to get on each others nerves.
You've got to push yourselves. Inactivity and isolation will start to adversely-effect your relationship. You've got to be social and interactive with others. The mind and body needs activity. The human body was not designed to merge with the furniture.
Getting your body into shape, and being active also prepares you for pregnancy. Even dancing and jogging are enough to tone your body and raise your energy to want to do other things. Swimming is a great activity. Going to local concerts to hear live music, long drives to the countryside, and entertaining your friends at home; are great ways to change the atmosphere around you. It wakes you up and you feel refreshed.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 September 2017):
 I don't quite get from your post if you are OK with the status quo or not.
In other words, if you are two laid back homebodies who are fine enjoying their calm routine even without a lot of entertainment and novelties, but you see most couples being more active and more inventive and that makes you feel " wrong ". Or else, if you do feel actually bored and stuck in a root and would like to change things.
In the first case, although, I must say, it's rather unusual for two people who are so young to be THAT laid back, - to each his own. You "do" you and if you both are happier staying home, chilling, watching Tv, puttering around the house, quietly recharging your batteries from the work day , rather than leaving for impromptu trips or painting the town red or going to social events , etc. - you are surely entitled to your preferences and to do what makes YOU happy.
If instead you just got sort of lazy and complacent, and you find yourselves doing same old same old just out of habit, BUT you don't like that and you want a more exciting life with fun things to do- well, then DO fun things ( duh ). Who's stopping you ?! You can always tag along these more adventurous couples and see how it goes. Or, you can decide to take dance or music or acting classes together, or to practice a new sport ,or to take nature walks, or to try every week a different ethnic cuisine, or... whatever; no point in going on , I have no idea what's fun and exciting for you and my idea of fun and exciting could be different from yours, but YOU must know what you like , what makes you curious. The only limits you have to contend with will be those of your wallets , of course; luckily there are many recreational activities which cost little or are free, so that too should not be an obstacle. You are young, hopefully healthy, you haven't got kids yet. if you feel like you want to try something new, then just DECIDE and try ; it's only up to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2017): No. Just because your not flashing and boasting about your life it doesnt mean there is anything wrong with the relationship.You can get bored of eating out.You can get bored of boastful competetive friends.You are doing things in your couple time, others want to have quiet happy affordable times too.Dont be swayed by all this fun stuff!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 September 2017):
 Are you doing anything "wrong"?
Not really, but maybe you could look into some thing that you think would be fun for the two of you to do. It doesn't have to climb Mt. Everest or learn how to be a sumo wrestler - but making FUN memories are a good thing. Look and see what kind of activities there are available in your neck of the woods, hiking groups, volunteering, etc.
What kind of hobbies do the two of you have that you share? Maybe that could be a "thing".
Going out dancing and getting drunk may not be all THAT exciting. Maybe learning BALLROOM dancing as a couple could be?! Who knows?
Going out to dinners... yes, it's nice but can you afford it? If you can why not set up a bi-weekly "date-night"?
Or have a gaming night with childhood board games. Or new games.
If marriage and children are things you eventually want I do suggest to go out and do things BEFORE this because logistically it does become harder AFTER kids.
Mostly though, DO YOU.
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