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female
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anonymous
writes: I live in a house which I bought with my partner 4 years ago. We had a child 2 years ago but we are constantly arguing and I reluctantly feel that I have to do something (ie move out )before things turn really nasty. I dont want our child to see the constant arguing, its just not fair on her (even though my partner thinks its ok to fight in front of her, I don't, and have had enough!). I am just worried about what my rights are with regards to the house we own etc.. I dont think I would be able to afford to keep the house on my own but worry about how I would live with my daughter and keep financialy OK? Does anyone have any advice?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Italie  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Hi. I dont know where abouts in the world you are but in the UK if you have a joint mortgage with your partner you would have to buy out his half of the mortgage or sell the property and split the proceeds.
With regards to the arguing, there are two conflicting trains of thought on this. Either, arguing in front of the child is distressing and creates a nervous child with issues in later life, or, it is healthier for the child to see their parents argue then make up which gives the child the tools to deal with conflict later in life.
You will be able to tell by your daughters reactions to your arguments whether or not she is finding them distressing or whether she is used to the break-up/make-up situations. Every child is different and some rationalise more easily than others. In saying that, obviously if you or your partner are using inappropriate language, physical violence or if one is blatantly more subordinate than the other then your child may accept this as the norm and carry into adult life i.e. believe that the female should be submissive in a relationship or that physical abuse is acceptable.
I argue in front of my son. If it gets particularly heated I dont but I also know that our arguments dont phase him and he watches TV as though it's not happening (occasionally asking us to be quiet as he cant hear!!). It's difficult to offer advice without knowing the severity of the arguments and the inherent nature of your daughter - only you know whether she can take it or not. If not then your daughters future is more important than any man and regardless of initial financial difficulties, which you will overcome with time, you shouldnt put her through it.
Good luck
xx
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