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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been married 9 yrs. and recently had sex with another man. We had been flirting for months and I thought we really liked each other. I had only been with my husband sexually, so this was a huge leap of faith for me. My "friend" won't really talk to me now. He says he feels bad for getting in the middle of my marriage and that he wouldn't want it done to him. When we do talk he says things that make me believe he likes me, but I don't know. He knew I had only been with one man, so why would he do this to me? I know I'm guilty to! Is he just full of bullshit or is he sincere?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Concentrate on your marriage and your husband. Put this other man out of your life. He has already come into your marriage and if you don't gain some control he and you will destroy it. Find your integrity and never let those people who love you down again.
A
female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 At face value he doesn't sound like a sincere guy - sorry!!
He was happy enough flirting with you and took it as far as having sex and now he says that he didn't want to get into the middle of your marriage???? Sadly, it sounds to me like he enjoyed the challenge of flirting with someone who was married and couldn't then cope when you actually acted upon that. I'm not sure his concern is purely genuine though. If he had been so concerned then why didn't he come to his senses before you guys had sex???
I'd start to wind down this friendship if I were you - and start looking at why you were tempted to look outside your marriage for something? Maybe it was just curiosity at not having slept with anyone else?? But maybe not??? (I'm not going to preach about marriage and all that - but it's important to understand yourself and your needs - and potentially how that can affect your husband).
Either way though, the 'other guy' sounds like someone you could do without.
Good luck with it,
Anon2907
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