A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I met this guy at work and we hit it off straight away, everytime I see him I know it's going to be a good day because we laugh and joke and just seem to really click. We have the same interests, both want the same things from life, you get the picture..Only problem is I'm 22 and he's 30 and living with his girlfriend. Not just a rented flat, he has a mortgage and everything.I think he's happy but sometimes I get glimpses of regrets about things he hasn't done and wishes he had. I know if we were together we'd do all these things and more.I have no idea how he feels. I doubt he feels the same as me though sometimes I do wonder... I find it really difficult to accept that nothing can ever happen between us as I want it to so much. This is the first time I've ever fallen for somebody I really really cannot have and I don't know how to cope.I find it difficult to like people.. I get asked out on dates and such but I very rarely develop feelings for people so when I do start to like someone I know it's not going to just go away,What do I do? Do you think there is any chance we could be together? I really want there to be..
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male
reader, Acer5100  +, writes (17 December 2011):
I'm going to give a different and probably less popular point of view. Have you ever thought about telling your crush how you feel? I'm in a situation that is very similar to yours. I became good friends with a girl I work with who I've known for two years now. She's been with her boyfriend for over five years. I eventually fell for her but never had any intention on telling her how I felt. After awhile I decided to let her know because I thought it would help me move on. I also did not want to regret never telling her how I felt.
One night I did and to my surprise, she has feelings for me. She's still with her boyfriend and we've NEVER crossed any lines. I will never try to come between them but I will continue to be there for her as a friend. Who knows, maybe if she does ends things with her boyfriend, something between us will happen. At least I can take comfort in the fact that I won't look back years from now and wonder "what if".
I must warn you, my friendship with her is not without its drama. The link below has the details if your interested. Luckily, we were able to keep our friendship and actually grow closer.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/remained-friends-even-though-she-has-a-boyfriend.html
Most people will say this is preventing me from moving on and logically they're right. However, we're humans. Sometimes logic doesn't work when we're acting out with our hearts. It's a flaw that I embrace. I want to live life with the least amount of regrets. I wish you the best in your situation.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 December 2011):
 I understand it is not what you wanted to hear honey really I do, but I needed to be honest with you. You need to accept that he is not the guy for you that he is taking and just carry on with life, take some time to accept it and then go out with friends and find your IDEAL man because he is out there waiting. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks.. that's really not what I wanted to hear, but what I really needed to hear.
You're definitely right, I'm sure he doesn't see me as more than a friend and I do need to just leave him be.. it's so tough though.
I keep finding myself sneaking off into little fantasies where we're together which isn't healthy but it's kind of like eating chocolate. Feels good when you do it but after you feel all sick and gross :P
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 December 2011):
You get on really well with the man at work and you can both have a laugh, so yes I totally understand why after a while you are now starting to get feelings for him. But honey by the sounds of it he is happily settled and he has some laughs with you at work because you are a work friend and nothing else.
You need to get this delusion out of your head that there can be a future between you both, he is being friendly with you at work, but he has a life outside of that, and a loving girlfriend and a house. You need to accept that he is taken and that he is off limits.
Yes it can be hard to accept and difficult to move forward but you need to tell yourself that he is off the shelf and look for someone else. Accept that he is a work mate who you can have a laugh with and nothing more. Good luck.
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