A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay Ive been on this site for quite a long time and I have ALWAYS gotten the advice that helped me through everything. So once again I need your help people!! Ive been with my guy for a year and a half and my life has never been better, heres the thing I am bisexual, and my boyfriend is my first serious relationship but I still have very large urges to do things with girls. Ive been hurt in the past ALOT by my ex's and I was seriously thinking on going Lesbian just for that fact and I was already bisexual. But allong strolled my bf and I said "well hes the last one after this, if it screws up im gone.." He turned out to be amazing but I have SOOO many urges to have a one night thing with a girl, or even incorperate him into a "3-way play" (because we havent had sex yet) he said he doesnt want to share me but he will give me a guilt free day, I really want to take it butI dont know if i should or if hes testing me....Do you think hes testing me? And what could i do to help get rid of thease strong urges.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Thanks everyone you were such a great help 3 i loved all the answers thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): I think that if your boyfriend acts jealous and things with you normally then this could well be his way of testing you. But if he loves you and knows that this is something you really want to do then he is probably just letting you do what he feels that you need to do. But the fact that you two haven't had sex yet and he is willing to let you go and experiment with someone else is strange and maybe does make it look a bit more like it is test. How are things with you and your boyfriend normally, do you argue, fight or anything?
And as for getting rid of your urges, the only answer is to either just do what your urges tell you to, or to try and ignore them and let time get rid of them. Only you can know how strong they are.
Hope this has helped a bit! Good luck and keep us updated!
xx Hope xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): lads r funny things.they make out as if they luv lesbians & 3 ways,then u introduce them 2 the idea & they go off.
if u liked ur boyfriend loads i dont think u would have urges 2 have 1 night stands.
it sounds like he likes u loads coz he doesn't want 2 share u & is willing 2 let u go off with a girl 4 a night just 2 please u.
i don't think he would be happy if u had a 1 off with a girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Take it, but remember this is a one off. Truth told, I think it be better for you in the long run as it be out of your system.
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A
female
reader, jozzc  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hey there,
Doesn't matter if he is testing you. What matters is, can you go ahead with your "guilt-free" day knowing that no matter what he says, it may drive a wedge between you two? If your answer is yes, then go for it! If your answer is no or maybe, then I would not risk a valid relationship with somebody who I truly loved for a one-nighter....
You can also flip it over, and ask yourself if you are willing to give up your bi/lesbian lifestyle for this one guy. It truly sounds like he is not going to be a swinger,and is not really going to tolerate an "open" relationship. Find out what you really want, and go with what is in your heart. You already have the answer..just find it...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): ok here is the thing. i am also bisexual and for a long time wanted to just go w a girl.; Then i met my boyfriend and he is amazing also. He also was a virgin and at the begining of out relationship i toldhim about me and how i enjoy to indulge in both men and women.. At first he said it wld never bother him. However after we became intimate he sat me down one night and let me know he no longer would aprove. So here we go i guess my gut wld say he may e testing you... but at the same time get it out before he becomes more atached it you plan to take your relationship to the next level. does he want to know about it if you take advantage of his offer? im guessing if he wants to know the juicy about your guilt free night it really wldnt be guilt free and it cld be test.. he seems a bit conservative if you still have not slept together.....
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