A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have not had sex since our 2nd child was born... Almost 6 months ago! Once we were in the clear 6 weeks after I gave birth I was ready. He said he wanted to make sure I was healed before we try. Funny how he didn't seem to be so worried after our first child so why is it different this time? We talk about having sex but it just hasn't happened and we are now going on 6 months. Yes, I could probably jump him and get it but after having another baby I don't feel sexy. I want him to come after me and make me feel desired. Should I worry that he is getting it elsewhere? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 Not necessarialy. If he is like I was after my wife had our son, i was fearfull of hurting her. I mean the physical trauma of childbirth to a guy is almost unworldly. You don't know if she's ready or not tio resume sex, and you are afraid to ask. Don't write him off as a cheater. Just educate him on a woman's body.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 Why don't you feel sexy? Has your body changed drastically? Or is it just mentally that you don't find yourself sex?
I think your husband is probably waiting for you to initiate. Maybe he worries you do not want him any longer. Often things become very difficult the more we think about them, and then we we act instead of just think, it becomes a lot easier.
So just try to initiate things and see what happens. Maybe you feel awkward at first, but then who knows? He might throw you into the bed and ravish you.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 "but after having another baby I don't feel sexy."If you don't feel sexy, how do you think he see feels towards you? If you don't feel a certain way on the inside, you will not show it on the outside, and we men have very good sexy antennas. We can detect sexy like a shark to blood. If we don't sense it, we are not interested. You can lay naked in front of us, but if your mind is not in sexy mode...we are leaving the room.You want him to come to you? Then give him something to come for. If you expect to get something for nothing, you will be waiting another 6 months. Yes I know he is your husband and he should desire you...but what should he desire if you have no desire for yourself?? Marriage involves two people, not one. So if you are expecting just him to do all the work, you will find things a lot more difficult down the road.So...what did you do before you had the kids to get his attention? You still have desires in there, you are still that sexy woman your husband married, all your part are still working and active...so what are you wait for? If you don't put all that to good use, then you will have to worry about your husband finding someone else.Never make it easy for someone else to take what you put some much work into. :) Don't ever be sexy for your husband. Do it because you KNOW to YOURSELF you are all that he would ever need.:)
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