A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I were kind of seeing each other for about 3 months. He introduced me to his family and friends. He would ask to see me most weekends and invite me to events. I remember this one time we were out, and I was talking to another guy and he asked who it was, in a seemingly jealous way and that night asked who I was on the phone to once I had ended a call(which was my mother). He would hold my hand and put his arm around my waist when directing me to somewhere. He would act the same when I was around with his friends. We only kissed. We would talk about everything and I definitely sensed he felt comfortable around me, and he listened to me. Around Christmas he was telling me that he missed me. Time went on, and we didn’t speak for a bit, just snap chatted each other. He became randomly blunt. I am moving away for about a year, he said he would come and visit me. While I was away on holiday, he religiously kept asking when I am going to be back. We carried on talking, and he told me he missed me again and even ‘jokingly’ mentioned he wouldn’t mind if I were the woman of his house one day, he talked about what he would like his house to look like. Next couple of days he teased me about one night when we were out that I was so drunk, but in an almost rude way. I told him jokingly, to shut up and he didn’t text me for about 4-5 days. Because I haven’t seen him in about a month-to months, I sort of assumed everything had fizzled out. I started to see a guy who I’ve known for a while, and a few weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Anyway, this guy and I uploaded a photo together and this guy that I was ‘seeing’ send me a photo of his abs. Unfortunately my boyfriend reacted badly and said something slightly rude to him. I sent this guy a message apologizing and explaining the situation that I felt it was going no where. He replied saying he hopes we could stay friends.
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christmas, drunk, jealous, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 Hds like a loser to me. A pic of his abs? that dudeis way into himself.avoid him!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2015): This is the same question asked by veronicad on 1/25/15:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-he-sort-of-giving-me-the.html
I believe it was indicated that he was jokingly told to shut-up; while telling you about how you behaved when you were drunk. You asked why was he giving you the cold shoulder? He just didn't contact you for a few days.
So you assumed that fizzled out, so now you have a boyfriend.
I guess the guy you've committed to and call your boyfriend is the guy you should be concerned about. The other guy doesn't matter anymore. You were just "kind of seeing" each other.
Honeypie may not have noticed this is the same OP, but she's right that you're trying to keep the other guy as a spare.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 You were "kind" of seeing each other, yet not exclusive or BF/GF, correct?
And when he stopped texting you for 4-5 days you replaced him, because you presumed it had fizzled? So you weren't REALLY that into this guy, if 1. you just presumed, it's over because you didn't talk for a few days and 2. you started seeing someone else.
I don't think it's fair to assume that if someone doesn't text you, that it's over. But I'm not really sure you two were actually an item, though I can't imagine why else this guy (guy #1) would text you while you were away on holiday, if he didn't think you two WERE an item.
What I would do, though is CUT the contact with #1. He isn't a friend. And I don't think it would honestly be fair on your BF (guy #2) to continue this chatting.
Seems to me, and I could be wrong, that you want to keep #1 as a spare... and that... is wrong.
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