A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Having a huge problem with my boyfriend of 2 years in that we havent been properly intimate for 4 months..It used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing and its left me feeling ugly and very insecure!his reasons for not been intimate is that he us suffering from stress and depression from work but he us not trying to get better or anything..we have tried recently but he really didnt look happy and almost looked disgusted..i have on many occassion asked him if its me+he got extremely angry and made matters worse..i dont know what to do as its destroying me..any advice on what i can do as i dont think at this point we are ever going to have sex again:(
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 It is time to give him an ultimatum. Either he works on this relationship or it is over. Yes depression and stress cause low libido. But he needs to get help for it. Four months is such a long time without any intimacy. It is like you are room mates more than in a relationship.
I don't think it is about you personally or how you look, if he says he is stressed and is not in the mood then he probably is telling the truth. Especially if work is stressful. But he needs to see that if it is effecting his life this bad he needs help. Maybe the work is not for him if it is causing this much stress for him, maybe he needs to change career. Either way you need to tell him the relationship cannot go on like this unless he gets help, and you need to mean it and stick to your word.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): If he claims he is depressed and under stress; he should see a doctor. He should get some exercise, change his dietary habits, and get more rest.
If depression adversely affects your mood, concentration, job performance, and normal daily functions; it should be treated. If he refuses to do anything about it, which would make no sense; then there is the possibility he is losing interest in your relationship. Not necessarily that he is cheating.
Feeling ugly and taking all the blame is a childish reaction; when you don't really know the facts. He's the one with the problem. It's up to him to find out what it is and how he can resolve it.
When people dummy-up on you, offer no explanation, or make no joint-effort to resolve an important issue in the relationship. It is left up to you to make an important decision that is best for you.
If he feels leaving it alone is best for him, than let him be alone to think about it; while you move on to do what is right for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHes absolutely adamant that hes not cheating on me even though this was the first thing i thought of..i know he has an extremely stressful job though but hes doing nothing to help himself
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHes absolutely adamant that hes not cheating on me even though this was the first thing i thought of..i know he has an extremely stressful job though but hes doing nothing to help himself
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2016): I am sorry to hear this.
And I am sorry to say this but you will have to look into the possibility that he is cheating on you.
...............................
|
