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We have two relationships: drunk and sober. How can I sort it out?

Tagged as: Age differences, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing a guy since last July...he is going to be 40 this summer, and I am turning 21. When we met up, he was going through a divorce, and I had just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. We started seeing eachother a few nights a week, went out, and had a completly innocent relationship. Now, we see eachother about three times a week, and seeing as I don't have my license right now, it is hard to hold a normal relationship. I really like him, and he likes me but part of him can't get past the age difference. He literally parties 6/7 nights of the week, and I party quite a bit myself but not that much. When he is drunk he calls me and obviously wants action.I do not always give in, but I do often enough We spend about a night a week watching movies and staying in. I've told him since day one I am not looking for a full out boyfriend/girlfriend relationship right now, and that was the case then, but now i am starting to want more and i know he doesn't. The way I see it, we have two relationships in one; we have a drunk relationship, and we have a sober relationship. We are much further along in our drunk relationship, and not as far being sober because it is difficult for him to open up. He is also very self-centered and can almost be abusive with his words when he is drunk. What should i do?

View related questions: broke up, divorce, drunk

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A female reader, les United States +, writes (16 May 2008):

My friend had a similar experience with a 40 year old guy that's way too much into partying and drugs. She's 24. After she dumped him, he started dating a 20 year old porn star.

My conclusion is that a 40 year old guy that still parties 6 nights a week, dates someone 20 years younger than him, and gets drunk enough to drunk dial you is not looking for a relationship or friendship or anything else other than a piece of ass.

Seriously, you are 20 years old. You have everything a head of you. Why do you want to waste some of the most precious years of your youth on someone who's 20 years older, but acts younger than you do, and doesnt even sound like a nice person.

You said that he's almost abusive, self-centered.. what exactly do you like about him?

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