A
female
age
41-50,
*nchantress21
writes:I met this guy two years back. He is 5 years younger than I am. We took an instant dislike to each other as he though I was too proud and I though he was too arrogant. A year back we got to talking to each other and discovered that we share a lot of things in common. We became good friends. He told me he views me as his sister. I'm desperately in love with him, but felt that if he wanted me as a sister, I would be a sister to him - anything to be a part of his life. Late last year we shared our first kiss - on the lips. Both of us are still virgins and we both believe in sex only after marriage. But we meet up pretty often to just kiss each other. Lately the kisses have been getting deeper - we kiss on the bed, wearing just the minimum clothing - and the kissing is very passionate. Neither of us has been naked in the others' presence. My problem is that he still says he loves me as his sister. I have a strong feeling that he loves me romantically, but I don't know how to get him to admit it. The smallest things give us the most amount of pleasure - just a walk somewhere outside, or just holding hands... He also turns to me very often, which I know signifies trust. Besides, he throws temper tantrums pretty often (I am known to be patient with people) and he wouldnt do that either if he didnt feel close to me. Does his love go as deep as mine does? Is he confused as to what he feels? How do I get him to love me romantically? I love him like I've never loved anyone before and I won't stop trying to get him as my husband.
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female
reader, anon777  +, writes (19 May 2008):
I think you should tell this man how you really feel and ask him if he feels the same. If he tells you still that he only loves you like a sister then i think you should both go your seperate ways. You will meet that special someone and i am sure he will be a lucky man.
A
female
reader, enchantress21 +, writes (19 May 2008):
enchantress21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, as far as the temper tantrums are concerned, they are most of the time my fault. I tend to see things emotionally pretty often and end up doing something stupid - over and over again. He spent many months trying to tell me things in a loving way but it didn't get into my head. So he's now trying the harder way I guess.
My major concern is - how does he love me? Is it brotherly? Or is he just saying this because he doesn't want to make a commitment? Or is he not too sure of his feelings yet? I don't understand men - I just need to understand a bit more about how guys feel and think.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 So you are making out and he sees you as his sister? Anyone else see something wrong with this? Because the only thing I would be doing alone with my sister is trying to kill her. In a nice way of course.
Loves you like a sister. Yeah right. You don't snog your sister. Strangle yes, snog no.
But there is a bit at the end that worries me. Temper tantrums and you seem okay with this, even see it as a sign of love? Why do I see a domestic abuse situation in the making?
Frankly I see some trouble ahead. Bitter enemies becoming lovers is cute enough, but a guy who says he like you like a sister while making out on a bed in your undies and throwing temper tantrums at random just doesn't sound like Mr Right to me.
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