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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've met a guy I really like. He made it clear from the beginning that he had a girlfriend and that he didn't want anything other than friends. I accepted that and we went out. But it became very clear that there was chemistry between us. He flirted a lot, he told me I was intelligent, cute and pretty, that he enjoyed my company etc. We laughed and smiled and to me, honestly, it felt so much like a date. I met him again a little while ago and we spent the whole afternoon together. We got on even better. Now, I'm very confused.Do guys really want to be "just friends" with girls, and is that possible if there is so much chemistry between them?Am I just putting myself in a stupid situation? Maybe I'll find out that he just wants me to boost his ego or relieve his boredom. I haven't done anything to show him that I'm easy etc., but maybe he thinks I am.Should I just forget about this guy? I really believe that there is something there - above the physical attraction. Or maybe I should hang around quietly and wait to see if he breaks things off with is girlfriend?
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 Yes you should forget him. Think about it like this; what if you become his girlfriend, and then a little while later, he meets a really cute girl at work who he really likes and they start spending time together behind YOUR back?......How would that feel?...Pretty rotten. This guy's gotta go. He can't be trusted and you deserve better.
A
male
reader, Timothy81  +, writes (9 August 2009):
Do you believe everything he is saying? It sure did look like date with you which means that he is not loyal to his girlfriend. And that's too bad because if you ever decide to get into a relationship with this guy - you better make sure you are the only one. So, here comes jealousy, no trust and pain... but no chemistry. Sorry..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): You don't know the relationship between him and his girlfriend, it could be sweet or it could be sour but I don't think it would be a good idea to wait around.
If he doesn't end their relationship in the near future and/or their relationship is taken to a more serious level, then you'll only be left feeling disappointed.
I wouldn't say forget this guy, there's no harm in befriending him as long as you can accept that you can't be more. If you think you'll develop strong feelings for him then perhaps you could be friends from a distance.
Still date and get to know other guys, and if this doesn't work out and he does become single, you can see if anything happens then.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (9 August 2009):
Honey... forget this guy. Seriously. The hard truth about men is that they will totally use you to boost their ego and just "enjoy" flirting and attention, and not even think there is anything wrong with this. I've seen it time and time again, and even in my own life.
You are letting yourself get caught up with an unavailable guy. Let's look at it realistically. Say he breaks up with her and goes out with you. Do you really want a guy who will spend an afternoon flirting with another girl? Go out on a fake "just friends" date behind YOUR back? If he'll do it to his current GF he will do it to you too.
Go and find a guy you have chemistry with who is actually available.
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