A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hell!!! I've been dating a guy for three months and we both still have feelings for each other from when we were kids. We dated when we were 16 years old and I still feel like a nervous teen since we rekindled the flame. At least twice a week, he would ask about the type of wedding I want. It really doesn't matter as long as my dad is there to give me away. What concerns me is the fact of the living situation. We live over a hundred miles apart and we visit when we can. Plus, he has not interacted with my daughter yet because I want to make sure that it's safe. He says to trust him, but I want to be safe in the choice I make. Growing up around him, I know that he is a good guy. What should I do???
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2014):
 Asking the type of wedding you want does not make him a good guy. It does not mean he wants to marry you or that he loves you. IT means he knows the right questions to ask a woman to keep her on the hook and thinking he may be the right kind of guy....
You live @100 miles apart. I did this with my husband before we got serious. Sadly your situation is complicated by having a child.
Do you get time away from her? Does she spend weekends or overnights with her dad? Does your boyfriend try to come see you on those times? Why or why not?
what effort does he make to see you when he can?
If he doesn't make effort to see you, why not? (and are you sure that it's acceptable?)
part of being LDR is planning to NOT be LDR...
it's been 3 months.. forget about 10 years ago when you were teens... what's going ON NOW?
does he call or text or email daily?
how often do you see each other?
what's the plan to end the distance?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): How old is your kid? Does he have any kids? What are both your plans for ending the LDR and making it a "proper" relationship where you can see each other regularly? When do you envision this would be? Is he going to move to your town/city or are are you going to move to his? Until you have agreed these details I don't think you should be involving a child at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): Introducing a child is a massive step in a relationship. Even though you know him and know he is a good guy, you have got to do the right thing for your daughter. Take things slow and don't leap in, when the time is right you will know.
Three months seems a little early to introduce the idea of marriage. Slow things down, things are not as simple and easy to deal with if you bring a child into it and she either gets attached or dislikes your partner.
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