A
male
age
41-50,
*oplay1
writes:As I can tell by many of the responses to my early question about private email, does my wife have the right to view my email. Let me go a step further and explain and ask my question in a a clearer and more understanding way. My spouse had an affair before me and yes I 3 years ago had 1 affair. I asked for her to contribute to this relationship and still does nothing but take advantage of me and accuse me of anything and everything. She had violated me first and I tolerated this. She has went into my eamil just recently and cost me a sale of over $12,000 dollars by saying very harmful stuff about me, and this was my own email account. She the other day erased potential employment emails. She has nonstop told me if I can't disclose everything we are divorced. I don't want a divorce but her overbearing and contolling personality has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. We have just become 2 people sharing a house not a home.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannahgolightly  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Hello, no doubt your wife will have another post up here after reading this, explaining even more details of the situation that contradicts what you have just written. You two could probably keep this contest up for the same amount of time as you have been married, dredging up every mistake either of you have made in the relationship. The real question you should both be asking is this: Do I still love my spouse in spite of all the mistakes I HAVE made? If you both answer YES to this question, then it's time to call a truce and turn back to eachother and get a professional to help you resolve your issues and teach you both together how to fix your relationship. It is time to start expressing your love to each other in stead of your hurt feelings. If this is not a realistic option (even with professional impartial help) then it is time to consider calling it quits before you hurt eachother even more. I wish you luck as a couple or as individuals. I hope time helps heal the wrongs and you both have the chance to start again from today, either as a new and wiser couple or as independent individuals. Another question to ask yourselves is this: Are you looking for advice here or are you looking for allies in your war against eachother?
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Do me a favor, go rent "war of the roses" for the two of you and then both a lawyer and end this marriage.
It is over, you two are just trying to hurt each other. It now seems both of you have "forgotten" to mention important parts of the story.
Get the divorce, before you two make each others live truly miserable.
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