A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK, I wanted the aunts views on this....What would you class as cheating?.... naughty phonecalls, texts, emails, pictures, thinking about someone else, a kiss, or full sexual contact?...My reason for asking is that I checked my bf's emails on facebook and he had some messages to and from another girl.. they were flirting and he'd said she was sexy then at one point he said it was getting a bit naughty, she asked if he wanted her to stop... and he said no, it was ok because it wasnt like they were ever going to meet!. I'm sorry but I felt so betrayed, I dont think I could've felt worse if he'd of physically cheated. What made it worse was the fact that we hadn't been together long at the time (about 3 months) but we were really happy at that point, we never argued, he was full of compliments and telling me how much he loved me, and begging me to have a baby with him... all the while he was flirting. If he can do that during the so called honeymoon period, it makes me wonder how far he'd go now we've been together a while and actually argue! This was months ago now, we've moved past it but it still bothers me, I'm really insecure.[Moderator's note: Another question from the same user]Can men be trusted to stay faithful or do their hormones make it too difficult to say 'no' when a tarty half naked chick throws herself at him?.....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): Its not right of him to do that. It doesnt matter if they were never gonna meet, he is still going behind your back and breaking your trust. I have been talking to this girl online for 6 months now and I have never even flirted with another girl. She is all I want and all I need. You need to be the same to your boyfriend and he cant ever go behind your back like that again. You said you two have gotten past it, but there still might be issues you should discuss with him. You probably hold a little animosity towards him cause of this and he needs to gain your full trust back. If you dont think he can stay faithfull and be all yours, you should consider ending things with him. Just try your best to be open and make things work for now. Open up the communication and only show passion to each other and no one else.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments aunts, its good to know that my thoughts on this are shared by you and I wasn't overreacting. His excuse was that he was bored one evening and an innocent chat took an unexpected turn. He says he has not, and has no intention of cheating on me, he was very sorry that his flirting went too far but wants to be with me forever I love him and he makes me really happy... but can I trust him now?... he's done nothing since to make me doubt him and he doesn't really go out. Should I let it go and not let one mistake ruin our relationship?...A note to Lazyguy... I do know it was very early in a relationship to mention babies, but could you elaborate on your answer please?... why is that a red flag to you? Is there some ulterior 'bloke trap' I dont know about?...
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Challenge to the reader... can YOU spot the red flag?
"My reason for asking is that I checked my bf's emails on facebook and he had some messages to and from another girl.. they were flirting and he'd said she was sexy then at one point he said it was getting a bit naughty, she asked if he wanted her to stop... and he said no, it was ok because it wasnt like they were ever going to meet!. I'm sorry but I felt so betrayed, I dont think I could've felt worse if he'd of physically cheated. What made it worse was the fact that we hadn't been together long at the time (about 3 months) but we were really happy at that point, we never argued, he was full of compliments and telling me how much he loved me, and RED begging me to have a baby with him FLAG... all the while he was flirting. If he can do that during the so called honeymoon period, it makes me wonder how far he'd go now we've been together a while and actually argue! This was months ago now, we've moved past it but it still bothers me, I'm really insecure."
To the poster, since you clearly didn't see the red flag, advice is pointless.
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