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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i am going out with my boyfriend 4 years i have a child from another relationship i would love a baby with my boyfriend but he doesnt want 1. i have my own house and he doesnt want to move in i am 31 and he is 33 am i waisting my time with him he relys very much on his mammy.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 June 2006):
 I think you probably are wasting your time. At that age, it's one or the other. If he doesn't want to marry or live with you, what's his ultimate goal?
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (7 June 2006):
 Hey there
Well i agree with dr psych i am also just your age and have a ittle girl with my man but this only came about whenhe finally relised his mother was indeed createing a wedge btween us, but back to your prob i think maybe your guy has commitment issues... has he ever been cheated on in the past maybe or had a bad relationship that it maybe stopping him mentally comitting to you? i mean you two have been together 3 years now this should be the whole settling down together into family life time not still wondering whats going on... so i would sit your man down honey have a good heart to heart with him tell him exactly how your feeling don't leave anything out you need to get to the bottom of this, if its all to do with his mother you have to cut those apron strings honey cause otherwise your gonna be fighting a loosing battle here, if he does love you as much as you obviously love him well he will make the necessary changes and put you up at the top ofhis priorities where you definately belong :-)
I hope my advice helps you a little.... Good Luck! and remember if you ever need anyone to talk to or just some more advice, i'm always here for you... feel free to email me ok. Would love to hear from you again...
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 June 2006):
 I am about your age so I understand the body clock ticking thing. I don't think this man wants the sort of committed relationship that you are looking for, and you maybe his 'surrogate mother' when the other one is unavailable. If he did want commitment then he would be moving in with you, but in his eyes he has the best of both worlds - two women who worship and spoil him on his own terms. I think when men are ready for the whole commitment thing then they are beating down the front door. I also think that if he truely loved you, and saw that you wanted a baby really badly then he would give in - there is something natural about building a family with a woman that you love etc. I used to live with a mothers boy (...well I use the term lightly - I think she was more like a military dictator!). I think it can work out sometimes if you get mother on side, but it is a sad fact that when you two have arguments then he will be off running to those maternal apron strings. I knew I wouldn't marry him or have his kids because the in-law from hell would have driven me to murder. I am happily married now, and trying for babies etc, and I just wanted to say that you shouldn't give up on what you want out of life. I met my husband exactly 12 months after I dumped my ex-BF out of apathy and he has changed my life around completely. It can be hard to finish with someone who isn't compatible, but the right person will come along for you who wants the baby, living together thing (and at your age you have plenty of time). Good luck!!!
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