A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend so much and he knows it. We're in three month in our long distance relationship. He had a girlfriend who is in other country when he courted me. He said their relationship was over since the girl never communicated with him since she left. I trusted his words. Yet recently the girl called him up. Asked how was he and said she will come back soon. He told her that he had a girlfriend already. The girl just told him that she didn't care as long as he is there when she comes back. I don't know what she meant on those words. I asked him if he still love her and he said yes. He said he is confused, I told him it's alright if they will meet and talk when the girl comes back to clear things about them. Yet he said he don't know what to do. He don't know what to say with the girl, he don't know if he can give her up. He still love her and he is regretting for their three years of being together. Yet he said he loves me too and he don't want me to get hurt also. He said he can't afford to lost me too. I don't know what to think of, why he is telling all of this to me. Knowing and hearing those things from him really hurt my feelings so badly. I don't know what will happen when the girl come. I don't know who will he choose between me and her. Will i let him decide now or wait the girl to come and see what will happen?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): If you feel like you can get over him I suggest that it might be best...
But say that you want to keep in touch as friends as well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYah, I've already seen this guy. He was my friend and schoolmate since childhood. We just got separated when we were teens. I went to other place and he too in other place. We've seen each other last year after six years, when I visited my relatives because he came back already and stayed there. He learned that I don't have boyfriend and he courted me. I love him already even before we got separated. It's just that we were too young then to get into a relationship. After how many months of courting, i said yes and now we're in three months of our relationship. It's been a long distance since we're too far from each other. We're working our relationship through calls and messages or pay a visit sometime. The girl became his girlfriend during the time we're apart. She was with him for three years when she decided to go to other country and it's been two years already that they don't have communication. So he said it's over. It's just recently when the girl contacted him and then it begins. He became confused and don't know what to do when the girl comes back. I don't know what was their agreement before the girl left. Now i feel the change. He never call nor send any message even once in a day, though i always do. I'm afraid of what will happen if i don't contact him, so I'm always keeping in touch and let him feel that I'm just here, yet he never responded. Don't know what to do. Should i stop?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): To be fair on him, if he didn't tell you that then you'd end up finding out the hard way. At least he was honest with you.
I think you should let him make his mind up on his own. He is obviously confused and needs to decide when his girlfriend gets back obviously. Its good that you allowed or are allowing him to talk to his ex.
However it is best that you are prepared for anything he might do. I don't think you should convince yourself hes going to stay with you, and prepare for the worst.
Deep down inside, I think hes going to go to her, but you have a lot of options. I know you love him and my God its hard to get over people, but your still very young. You can love someone however who will love you in return, and you'll get married and have kids.
So you could, if you wanted to, dump him now and make it easier on him. I don't know what she means by that either.
Option 1:
You can dump him now, face moving on which will be hard but whatever decision you choose you need to stick to it. By all means keep in touch with him.
Option 2:
You can stay with him and hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst. You can try and keep in touch but he may be reluctant to, so he can get over you and move on with his ex.
As I said whatever you choose you need to stick to it. To be fair, what would you rather. Hanging onto someone that might not stay with you, or finding someone that will love you forever?!
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