A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year we have a great relationship we started out as best friends grew into a sexual relationship, talking about marriage kids I will 9 yards. Let me start by saying I'm 34 years old she's 10 years my junior...she is most certainly beautiful most people that I know would call her a 10 I'm probably up for a five. I guess looks are really my thing neither is fashion though I've done my best to try to wear and purchase the you know a little bit more stylish clothing where she doesn't feel like she's going out with somebody who doesn't care at all about his appearance. She doesn't do oral and that's perfectly fine with me I feel like it's a little bit weird anyway I do however with her and any type of touch feel with her is okay except that she will not touch me ever and she says she will eventually one day she will. But what I don't understand is and what I want to know is it is, is this because she's just not attracted to me and that's what my theory is is that there is no list from her as much as we all want to have a beautiful tan as a girlfriend wife whatever we all I feel like I want somebody who is or at least can grow to be just as attracted to me as I am to her which would in turn say that in the heat of the moment stripping off each other's clothes we could touch each other if that makes sense...so if anybody can help me understand that please let me know
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): most girls feel revolted from the look of the erect penis and avoid touching it, till they get used to it.It is a bit like touching a snake for the first time.I venture to say that she has not had many previous sexual relationships, but she will get used to it. just give it time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): I grew up in a strictly religious home and sex considered a sordid business.
But boy do I get down and dirty with my man.
Speak to her and help her understand what's going on. I doubt it's just religious background
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 November 2014):
 You write: "....who is or at least can grow to be just as attracted to me ...."
Don't be stupid.... IF she isn't "attracted" to you now.... she ain't gonna be in the future.
You, Sir, need to make a decision. It is this: Are you going to try to compete for this hot, young babe's attention and sexual desires????? ... OR, are you doing to capitulate... that SHE is a DECADE younger than you.... has limited interest in you - as a partner - and so... IF you are dumb enough to invest in her, you are going to regret that "investment" in the future?????
Your call....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (21 November 2014):
I don't think it is a matter of attraction. Sounds like she has some very serious underlying sexual issues. Therse can have a number of causes, such as religious guilt, past sexual abuse, or some sort of other fear.
The hard part is going to be identifying that. She may not want to talk about it. She may have a repressed memory or just be very traumatized.
SOMETHING is going on there, and it probably has nothing to do with her attraction to you.
I wish you luck.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 November 2014):
 Some girls (and I knew one) have been so masterfully brainwashed by their mothers that "the male body is so single-mided that it can't be satisfied until it either impregnates you with that slimey sperm that erupts everywhere OR until IT gives you a disease." So the girl is traumatised into belief that below the belt is satan country. Good luck but I'll bet she will be hard pressed(pardon the pun) to ever overcome thbrainwahing of a lunitic mother, asuming that was the case.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (21 November 2014):
Does she have strict moral or religious values (or have them in her upbringing)? Maybe she's waiting until you formally propose or get married. Is she a virgin?If your relationship includes other intimacies, such as deep kissing, prolonged cuddling, skin on skin contact etc, then I doubt very much that the problem is not because she doesn't find you attractive.It's very hard (for the average woman) to passionately kiss someone they don't find attractive and keep on doing it. For women, it's often more intimate than sex. Which is why some prostitutes don't mouth kiss their clients.I would think that, unless she has strong religious or moral views, she's actually scared of taking the next step for some reason (altough I don't know what that would be without knowing more)
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