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I don't know how to bring it up calmly and not make it sound like I'm attacking my boyfriend's erectile issues

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2014)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for several months now, and he's very sweet and caring and loving. But we have not had sex yet, like the real deal start to finish.

He has a problem getting and keeping it up, a problem that he's already seeking professional medical treatment for. I'm not frustrated or anything, I've been very supportive and understanding and plan to continue being there for him. We are intimate in other ways and I'm more than happy with that.

But one night we were together and getting all hot and bothered. He had an erection for a little bit and we thought we'd try to go all the way. It didn't last for more than a minute, I just thought 'Oh well no biggie"

But he continued to try and use his not quite half-mast to keep having sex, and I didn't know what to do! He kept going with me under him, and I hated it! It didn't feel intimate at all and I just felt like a sex doll. I didn't really make noise or sexy motions, I just layed there uncomfortably until he finally gave up.

I don't want this to happen again, but I don't know how to bring it up calmly and not make it sound like I'm attacking his erectile issues, because I know it's a sore spot for him. I don't want to be nervous to consent if it ends up being another weird uncomfortable situation. I don't know if this should be bothering me as much as it does?? Help!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 November 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI'd honestly suggest next time you two try to have sex, that you give him head a bit first, it might help him stay hard.

Is he being treated for low T-levels?

I do agree that it's not OK to just PUMP/HUMP you to try and stay hard. I wouldn't feel right with that either, my guess is he was TRYING his best to stay/get hard for the both of you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2014):

If your boyfriend is receiving treatment, is there any way you could visit his doctor or counsellor with him and ask for advice as a couple on how to introduce penetrative sex? If there's a professional with you it could make the atmosphere more neutral. It's a very difficult subject so I think a professional opinion would help.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2014):

SensitiveBloke agony auntHe was hoping that doing what he did would help him firm up. Because it didn't work, he probably won't try it again so I wouldn't mention it.

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