A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was on a vacation a month ago. I went with my friends, and had intentions to relax and have a real resting holiday,cause I was so tired of working all year and also dealt with a heartbreak which left me with a lot of scars and most of all with the fear of getting hurt again.Anyway, I met a guy while we were having some drinks at the resort. For the coincidence we were speaking the same language and living near (different states,but the same nationality),which was one of the reasons we hooked up!We spent the rest of the vacation together,until the last day.When we went back home,I thought that was it,but he kept texting me everyday since. We had plans about our next meeting,but we never talked 'where this is going?'.But, from the last week he seems distant and he isn't mentioning whether we will meet or no,the plan was by this week.He told me he was busy working,but I guess if one wants to keep talking to someone he will have 5 minutes a day.Sometimes it seems like my fear is not letting me behave like myself,and I am over analyzing every thing he says. I want to keep this going,but I am afraid I will get hurt again,and for now the only right thing that seems to me is to wait from him what he leads and I am following.Do you think a summer thing can turn into something real,and is there anything I can do?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (7 November 2017):
 Your post is quite old now, however, i hope things worked out for you.
If you're still feeling confusion over everything, i'd encourage you to let go of this guy, because after all, it was just a fling and besides, you were still getting over your ex during your Summer break.
Your intent for relaxation was partly due to getting over your ex and dealing with that loss.
To enter into another new relationship so fast, well it wouldn't be a good idea, certainly not for you.
It'd most definitely be on the rebounds which is wrong.
What if you and this guy ended up breaking up?
You'd then be dealing with the burden of two break ups within a short space of time.
This guy, he remained "distant" from you because he didn't have any serious intent to continue seeing you and to become exclusive with you.
After all, you guys had a quick fling during your respective Summer breaks, that's all.
Nothing was ever mentioned about getting more serious or about be an exclusive couple.
If he did, he'd have been doing all the chasing and you wouldn't have had to do anything.
Learn from your experiences and learn to stand on your own two feet and not rely on guys too much, to help pick you up, because if you do, you're likely to get burnt ten times over.
You have your inner female strength, so look within yourself before you look for another messy relationship with some random guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2017): It was only a fling. You are weary and vulnerable from your heartbreak. The feelings are pure rebound-emotions. You're looking for a fix. You're in withdrawal from your last clingy-relationship.
You were on vacation. One fling does not turn into a relationship, and that is very immature thinking. Rushing into new relationships leads to a series of heartbreaks, one after another. You fall too easily, you have somewhat of a fantasy-concept of what love is. No, he has no obligation to even give you five minutes. He's just some random-guy you hooked-up with! At least, that's how he sees it!
You hardly know the guy, and you're already wondering if you can make more of it than it is. Why and how could you be hurt by someone you hardly know? You're using him as a bandage over your emotional wounds, and getting needy.
He's pulling away, because he was just having some summer-fun. Not looking for a girlfriend.
Take some down-time for yourself, and give yourself time to heal. That's what you can do.
You can't spend every minute of your youth attached to some guy. Best you learn how to survive as a single-lady; and how to bounce-back after heartbreak. Grasping for a guy to hang-onto is giving-in to the weak pitiful little girl inside. You've got to be tough and be a woman. Survive on your on strength; not be too dependent on men for comfort, and to make you feel safe.
Heartbreak is a liar. It tells you that you're weak and a hot mess. No you're not! You just got the wind knocked out of you. Deep inside, we all have a reserve of strength and energy to survive. Tap into it. Stop your manhunt, Missy!
It's too soon, sweetheart! Way too soon!
...............................
|
