A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. We will be moving in together by the end of this year. He will be packing his bags and moving across the country to live with me and my two teenage children.I'm having second thoughts... I don't want to see him give up his life for me. He is working two jobs so that he can save extra money to help me with expenses when he moves in with me. He will look for a job here but it might take a few weeks. I'm wondering if I should just set him free. He can meet someone his age (I'm 9 years older), he can have kids with someone who has never had children before (I have 2 children). Why would he want to be with someone with so much history like me? I'm not sure if this is the best life for him.. should I set him free and let him live the life he deserves?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2017): I'm the OP-
We've visited each other frequently over the course of five years. On average about 6 times per year. Aside from this past year where I had to travel a lot for work. We've only seen each other 2 times this year. We've always talked anout eventually moving in together. The plan is for him to move in with me for the next two years, then when my daughter starts college in the East Coast, we will all move to his hometown where we will stay permanently. Both our families and friends know about my kids and age difference and they are acceptive and supportive. Him and I have also talked about having a baby in the next couple of years and even named him/her. We do have arguements here and there but always resolve it by the end of the day, and he actually spoils me because he's always the first to contact me after an argument even if I'm wrong. We have good chemistry during sex and we really do enjoy each other's company when we're together. We've also fought through some tough times together.
Nothing is wrong with our relationship and I do love him. I know he truly loves me too. I'm just thinking that he can do sooo much better than being with me and I don't want him to miss out on the first time experiences with someone who has never been married, who doesn't have children, who is the same age as him, etc...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2017): Because you are AFRAID, you are going to allow yourself to LOSE A GOOD MAN?
Hmmm.
Just know that good men in this world don't come by very often. And what you really should do is consider yourself lucky.
Good luck out there in the world of dating.
It ain't pretty at all. You will meet loser after loser. Cheater after cheater. Liar after liar. Player after player.
Aren't you a little too mature not to be settling down at this point in your life?
Most women would KILL to have a guy who is willing to do what your guy is doing for you.
UNHEARD OF.
I must say that in a world FULL of pigs, he sure does stand out. And I respect him for being a real man.
Yeah, let him go so he can find somebody who sees how awesome he is! Looks like his shine has worn off you and you are done using him. And sorry to say, but you are not smart enough to see what you have.
But you will. When he is gone. For good. Once you see him put a smile on another woman's face.
Too late.
Regrets are a bitch.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (28 August 2017):
 It seems as though you're getting cold feet and it may be worth listening to your gut.
How much time have you spent together in person?
How much time has he spent with your teenagers?
How do your teens feel about him?
How much time has he spent with your friends and other family members?
How much time have you spent with his?
What do you both want from the future? Marriage? Does he want kids?
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (28 August 2017):
He is moving with you and giving up his life just for you, because he loves you.
The worst think you can make with him at this moment is cut him off.
You need to ask him if that's what he really wants to do and all that. Sit together.
This man truly loves you. A man that does not loves his woman wouldn't even think of doing something like what he is doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2017): I think you need to express your thoughts and feelings of hesitation with him now. He is uprooting his life, and you shouldn't let things go too far and passively let him move-in.
How frequently have you both visited and actually spent time together? So much has been left-out of your post; that to be honest, you're making no sense.
The purpose of an LDR is to eventually be together. If you don't feel the connection is strong enough, or don't feel it would be good for your kids; say so NOW!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 August 2017):
 Have you talked to him?
Maybe it would make more sense for him to MOVE to your town but NOT live with you at first. Though I'd say after 5 years, it's about time that ONE of you make a "move" a PHYSICAL move.
What exactly is that you worry about?
You mention the age difference and having kids - but why is that an issue now? After 5 years?
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