A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to this guy for a year and a half. We weren't in a relationship and I was gone for school most of the time. We "liked" each other, flirted etc Eventually I told him to go away since this wasn't going anywhere. After that he says he realized what an idiot he had been and started chasing after me. I finally gave him another chance and he was an amazing bf. He was so sweet and kind and thoughtful. I found out some stuff about his past that I was not happy about and this led to us fighting (but still loving each other) for a while. He was still sweet to me but the thoughtful things he did stopped. On top of that he started making big decisions where he obviously did not think of me or us, like buying expensive cars (He hasn't even finished school yet). Here he was telling me he couldn't take me out cuz he had no money or time, but I could see otherwise. After a few months of this, I called it quits cuz Ii felt he was not as serious about our future as I was. Now, he still wants to be with me (2 months later) and says he has thought about all this and knows he wants me in his life and he realized he needs to start going to school. I was starting to believe him until he invited me to go to Vegas with him and his friends. I yelled at him, telling him this is why I think he's an idiot (he is in debt!) and I told him I thought he had no money. He said he just got his bonus and needed to relax, which I agree he does, he works very hard but when you are in debt does this show your priorities? I am not going with him but he is still going. I have no problem with him going to Vegas at all. But is this just a sign that he hasn't really changed? Should I give him another chance anyways? I was thinking that I would just stay friends with him and see how it goes, but then I remain attached and as much as I will try to expect nothing, if I am disappointed in the end I will still kick myself. And if I do decide to wait and see how he has changed, how long do I wait?
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female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 You need to call it quits with this guy for good. But if you do decide to give him another chance, make sure his words are lining up with his actions before you get too involved again.
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