A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, well basically i am a 22 year old girl and i've started going out with this guy who is a year older and we get along really well and i'm really happy with him. We've slept together once and this was a few weeks ago when we were a bit drunk, however, the problem is that it just seems as if he doesn't want to do it again. Whenever we start kissing or anything he just stops and hugs me and then we fall asleep so that it doesn't develop into sex or even anything sexual. I have tried to get things further but it just seems as if he isn't interested in sex! apart from that he's lovely and makes such an effort by taking me out to nice places/ buying me nice presents/ making an effort to meet all my friends and family/ always giving me compliments etc but i just don't understand why he doesn't want to go further with me anymore. He's not religious anymore and has slept with about 6 or 7 girls in the past. Any advice would be great, thanks alot, Georgie xxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): Did sex go well? Is there anything about your body your failing to mention?The guy I'm with at the moment has told me that in the past he has rufused to continue to have sex with the women if it didn't go well, she had bad "admin" or if her vagina was not neat enlarged labia etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): People do things when drunk that they wouldn't otherwise. Maybe he isn't ready for a sexual relationship yet. Ask him about it. Sounds like he treats you really nicely so he must think a lot of you.
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A
female
reader, Janicp14  +, writes (10 November 2008):
You will really never know until you ask him.
I know that sounds difficult, but maybe you can ease into it. I find that sometimes my boyfriends and I get into intense conversations where honesty and openness are appreciated. When one of these comes up, tell him how you feel. Maybe something happened to HIM (i.e. he has a medical condition or can't get it up for whatever reason) in that period of time since you last had sex. Maybe he thinks he isn't good enough for you. Maybe he has had a bad experience. If he's still with you and still treating you so well it's unlikely that there's something wrong with you. And it's going to bother you until you find out. Just be honest with him and tell him that it's been a while or whatever. Maybe a few glasses of wine will help you calm down about how to do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): maybe he just regrets having sex too quickly into the relationship, afterall its not all about sex
i doubt its anything but that.. but you should bring the subject up nicely if he doesnt want to have sex for another month or so.. it does seem a bit odd esp as you did have sex before
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