A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok I have a question, I don't understant men. Hi i'm 25 and have just got back into the dating game. I recently got divorced a little over a year now and have never dated anyone except for my ex husband. we got married when I was 18 and he was 27 so i was young and didn't know how the world worked.He controlled me and was abusive blah blah blah anyway I grew up and am on my own again moving on. I have gone on a couple of dates with men ok maybe 3 but still am confused about the dating field and well lack self confidence. But to get to my question I was seeing this guy I ran into from high school he is now a pharmacy tech while i was picking up my medication for depression LOL ! I thought for sure he would not talk to me and think I was nuts but he asked me out telling me he had had a crush on me since high school. Well I was flattered and agreed. Anyway I ended up sleeping with him on the first date. Oh I could just kill myself for being so slutty. We hung out 3 times after that and even went to dinner with his parents. One day he asked to come over before he went to work so I said sure and before I know it he has me naked on the floor agian! when we were finished I tried to talk to him to see if he was just using me for a booty call saying stuff like well i never dated someone who stopped by before work for some action, kinda playing if off like and here is when he made me feel like the biggest whore in the hole world by saying I wouldn't really consider us dating. In my head I thought what the hell does he mean by that, that i'm just some whore he is using me for a booty call, How could I have been so stupid. anyway I was polite to him and he left but I knew he could tell I was steaming. I never called him again after that and just planned to move on from my mistake. anyway We had no communication for a month I didn't call him he didn't call me then all of the sudden out of the blue he has been calling me non stop and leaving messages.He even called my moms cell and left a message. Can anyone explain this to me why did he say he dose not consider us dating and not call for a month then call at least 2 times a day leaving messages I never anser asking me to call him.Dose he just want another booty call? cause that's not happening agian. Thanks for reading or any advice you can give. sorry so long.
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booty call, confidence, crush, divorce, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 April 2009):
Hun, you have learned the hard that way that all men's brains are secretly very Victorian when it comes to "What morals a young lady should have."
If you had sex with him on the first date then he is going to assume that you are happy having sex with out him committing or putting in effort.
He's not saying you are a slut, he just thinks that you are in it for sex and not snuggles. He got confused by your mixed signals.
However, if he is calling then he might want to give it a go with more than just sex. If you think you could start fresh then do that, but DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM until you are in a relationship, if a relationship is what you want.
Good Luck!! xx
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