A
female
age
26-29,
*rettyGirlRock
writes:Im 15 and about a month ago i had sex (i was a virgen) with my 17yr old bf bc i thought i loved him. He promised me tht no 1 would know no matter what but less than a week later he broke up with me bc he didnt want attachments bc hes goin to the army but he told everyone that we had sex and i dont know what to do. What should i do?
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (19 July 2014):
 You have learnt a valuable lesson. If he was willing to have sex with an underage girl then clearly he is not worth having (assuming the age of consent is 16/18 in your part of the world).
He "persuaded" you to have sex when you were not ready and too young to know the consequences under the pretence of love. The minute he got what he wanted he made excuses to you to disappear and told everyone he took your virginity.
That was a vile thing to do BUT something many lads will do. In future let a man prove his love, rather than believing his words.
Mark
A
female
reader, Natasha1972 +, writes (19 July 2014):
There is no better feeling and slap in the face to those who have hurt you or ridiculed you than for you to succeed and better yourself. I know that it is hurtful, try to avoid people he may know, if you can and work on yourself, one day he will realize how immature he was and what he had. He might even apologize that is if he ever becomes a man.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 January 2011):
So you've had sex. Big deal. It doesn't surprise me that he's told everyone because at your age it's considered by many as a big thing and people - more often males - boast about it.
It's happened, get over it, stories about other people will come out. This isn't uncommon.
Learn from it though as I think you were naive to believe you loved him and that he would keep quiet.
Whether you want to hear this or not, I think him dumping you because he doesn't want attachments when he is in the army is rubbish. I think it's a case of he's got what he wanted with you.
The worst thing you can do though is retaliate and start bad-mouthing him because you'll probably spark a war of words.
Move on and be more careful in the future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Learn from it, ignore him, and realize that worse may happen.
Don't do the name calling or dick size talk or lousy lover rumor. It was your first time, he's 17, I doubt he's a great lover yet...definitely isn't because of what he did.
This kind of shit happens.
A good friend of mine had sex with her bf when she was 15, her first time, she wanted to, his first time as well, and afterward he wouldn't talk to her again and called her a whore and told everyone that she was a slut. This hurt so much that she almost couldn't bear it. Took her years to get over it. She thought that what he said was "true". She realized later that what he said was a reflection of who he was, not who she was.
Keep that in mind.
What he is doing is a reflection of who he is, not who you are. If anyone says anything to you about it, that is exactly what I'd say.
"What he has done and said is a reflection of who he is and what he has done, not who I am and what I have done."
Memorize that, believe that, and understand that it is true.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Say something along the lines of "Oh, he's saying we had "sex" is he? I wouldn't really call it that. It was over so fast, I hardly noticed." Make it a bit funny so that people will want to repeat it and spread the story. Don't say he had a small dick because a) it's kinda obvious and b) it's a bit unkind to all those guys out there with small dicks who are doing the best with what they got and c) if it is not true then he can prove that its not true just by pulling his pants down whereas he can never prove that it wasn't all over in 60 seconds - it's just your word against his and your version is funnier ....
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A
female
reader, redbutterfly +, writes (30 December 2010):
well if it were me i would send someoen to beat him up. but that's just me... advice: 1. You could tell others he has a small dick @2 you could be responsible and talk to his parents about it and make him stop unless his parents are iressponsible jerks that just pop that kid out and out the door he goes to screw the world over 3. You let it go, there is a higher power and it most definately will catch up to him. 4. what ever goes up must come down and in his case it will be him trust me he will pay for it for everything he's done because you can't just take someoen's virginity and yea he played with you, basically he just wanted to have sex in case he died. but you can't dwell on that, you need to learn from it and move on and don't give it out because you're nto a virgin anymore remember the body is the temple and when you meet soemoen then you want it to be special and it will because it's something private you share with the one you love and "THE ONE" when he comes wont' care that you're not a virgin but to keep it special you need to wait. You need to listen to your instincts and learn from your mistakes cuz otherwise u'll grow up to be a screwed up individual and you'll screw everyone and remember this every time you have sex with soemeon you're giving them a piece of you. It's like a puzzle if you take the puzzle everywhere, pieces are bound to get lost. So let it go, the man who respects you will respect you for you and if people ask tell them it isn't true tell them a lie say that he is just angry because you wouldn't and he told you he wanted revenge so he would tell others. but to prove that lie you need to be a decent girl and don't be slutty and ghetto be a decent girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): That is exactly what guys do... let this be a lesson to you.. I promise everything will be okay though I mean people will talk but don't they always?he was your bf not some random hook up so people won't think your a slut or anything
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A
female
reader, Merilee  +, writes (30 December 2010):
I would tell everyone that hes a lousy lover.
That would shut him up.
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