A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and me have been together for a few years now, but it's been sorta chaotic. We broke up a few months ago for the last time, but then got back together a couple of days later, with the understanding that things were going to be different this time around. I've really believed most of our issues are more communication-related than compatibility or anything else, which seems like the kind of thing you can work on making better if the relationship is owrth it.Since we got back together, i've felt like things have been goin real well, or at least, a lot better. I think things are good between us, it just doesn't feel like a 2 1/2 yr relationship, in terms of how serious we are, or maybe the closeness between us. I mean, I know him as well as I'd expect after so much time together, I think, but there's still some kind of block between us. I've been thinking that maybe it's left-overs from all the fighting and hurt that happened before, when things were bad. Every now and then, it'll sort of fade away for a minute, and you get a glimpse of the possibility for *real* closeness b/w us.Can the old hurt and resentment ever really be overcome? Can you ever really get things back to good? How do you do it? And, maybe most of all, how long does it take? It is painful to still sense this chasm between us sometimes, and i'd like to do what i can to mend things sooner, rather than later.
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (23 March 2007):
I think you both need to take some time together. A holiday, or a weekend camping. Or a day at the zoo, ANYTHING. Just to break this block between you. A picnic is always good. Or a walk in the countryside, or along the beach. You need to be out in the open air together and just let yourselve go. I think you need to just sit and hug and talk. I think you need to work on the bond between you.
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