A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok, here is my problem, me and my boyfriend have a great and varied sex life. We went on holiday recently and had sex twice everyday which was great. He told me it was more sex than he had ever had throughout his marriage. This was a major compliment for me, he also told me that being with me was like the floodgates opening and that i should understand that before it was a trickle and now he has it on tap so to speak. The thing is we have been back from holiday for nearly a month and even though our sexual antics are very good we haven't had full sex. Should i talk to him about it or wait and see what happens.
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male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (9 December 2007):
 Hi - To answer the question you ask, I think if you don't talk to him soon, then it has the potential to become a subject you both avoid. This would not be helpful.
I also think you need to discuss this between you to allay any doubts that may be developing in both your minds. Before covering how you might best discuss the topic with him, let me first share with you possible causes. There are three possible reasons why he may be more sexually active on holiday. The first possible reason is the total feeling of relaxation that comes with being on holiday. His cares, worries and stressors are left behind. It would be a good idea to discuss with him what worries and stressors he feels he has and how they might be reduced. These may have their origins in work, money or his previous family. The second possible reason for being more sexually active on holiday is that he may have been more physically active whilst on holiday. Feelings of anxiety or stress will normally be alleviated to some extent by increased physical activity. The third possible reason is the location where sex takes place. He may have feelings of being disturbed or heard which he didn't have when you were on holiday. Maybe the location is less romantic or erotic. There may also be a possible cause which I haven't listed. Open discussion between you your boyfriend may help uncover another factor.
Now we need to look at how you broach the subject. Choose a moment when you are both relaxed. Switch phones off. You don't want to get halfway through the conversation and have to finish another time. Rather than asking, 'why has our sex life gone down lately,' it might be better to casually introduce the topic by saying, 'I loved the level of sex we had on holiday, it made me love you more.' Listen to what he says in response and if he volunteers his ideas or feelings. Lead the converstaion into the three possible causes. Whichever of these possible causes is felt more likely, and it may be a combination, through discussion with your boyfriend you should be able to identify what changes may help you restore some of the 'holiday feeling' which in turn will have a positive affect on his sexual drive. Your boyfriend may also need to address other issues at work or other worries. Taking more exercise might also be a remedy.
I hope this helps.
Richard
A
female
reader, sexyhunnibbe001 +, writes (8 December 2007):
 i'd talk to him about it.
thats the strength in any relationship is that if anything is troubling you talk to each other about it.
hope i helped :)
good luck!
xxx
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A
female
reader, alieP91  +, writes (8 December 2007):
 I would wait and see what will happen but guys are a bit slow in waking up to what we really want so you might need to help him to understand.
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