A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi all, in a bit of a delenma, wonder could u help me with some advice or opinions. Myself and my boyfriend are 3yrs together, we have 2yr old son. Had terrible row that lasted whole weekend, we are both very head strong people and neither of us will back down, kinda sorted things out today, tuesday i know, row started friday. anyways, he hit the pub, i knew this was the last thing he wanted to do, if i just asked him not to go , he wouldnt have gone but to be honest i glad to see the back of him at the time. Anyways my problem is when he was sleeping, i checked his phone, cause whole weekend, he did not come home till 5-6am, now i know its wrong snooping but was just curious wat he got up to, anyways found 3 strange phone numbers on last dialled numbers, didnt regconise numbers so phoned them, all women answered, one left me on hold which i could hear every part of her conversation with other person she was talking too, nearly died, she was giving prices for sexual services, hung up straight away. Confronted him, he told me he did phone them but didnt go to see any of them, said he justed hated me at the time and thought we were finished and also he wanted to hurt me back cause he felt i had hurt him. He says if he ever went to hooker, he would not be able to face me and our relationship would be over cause his love for me would be tainted and he would know then i am not the one for him, i want to believe him but i am finding it very hard, caught him out on other lies bout him saying he went to certain pub then found out he went to nightclub and bumped into an ex of his, he says nothing happened as he loves me and i could meet her if i want. He gone to work thinking everything ok, and im just crying all day cause i dont know whether he lying, please all advice needed and opinions male or female. sorry for been so long and drawn out. thank u
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male
reader, Uncle_J  +, writes (29 May 2007):
I feel terrible for you...I've been on your side of this recently. Couple of tips: The more you ask him to deny what happened, the harder it will be for him to tell the truth if his conscience really does kick in.It turned out that there was no proof that was going to give me what I wanted to know so in the end I simply had to forgive and forget. It took me roughly 6 months and i'm still not over it completely. Questions and demons pop into my head and the only thing that has changed is that they don't hurt me as bad when i think of them and that they go away faster with practice. You have to come to an understanding that it doesn't matter and that they are with you in the end anyways...Don't do anything as pathetic as acting as if you know something more than you do to try and force a confession.Good luck, keep me updated. I got the SAME exact story from my GF as he gave you when approached. "Do you think that I could have came back home and made love with you that night if I would have slept with someone else?" The answer to that question is yes, Because i've done it. slept with one girl at 6AM, came home to my GF and banged at noon and spent the entire day togather just fine. Long term affairs are where changed feelings get noticed to my experiance.But 6 months later i'm on here posting because I'm having trouble holding what I done from her any longer. Conscience is kicking in now...Good luck.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (29 May 2007):
 This isn't a healthy relationship. If he's going that far to hurt you, you should drop him a.s.a.p.
DV1
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