| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hiya, I've been with my girlfriend for about 14 months now and we're both sixteen years old. This is gonna sound like a really petty problem and like I'm being stupid but I was wondering if its normal.Basically, me and my girlfriend spend a lot of time together, but a lot less recently with her exams and everything which I totally understand. However, every month or two, she goes down to her dads for a week to visit him since he lives away, the rest of the time she is living with her mother. I sometimes go down to her dads with her, but when she goes there on Monday she said she'd prefer to go on her own this time - which I totally understand.Anyway, we had this really nice weekend planned since the begining of the week, but yesterday she informed me that she now wanted to go out round town with her mates on Friday night. Basically, I'm used to spending every weekend with her.. and think I have done since we started going out - and whether that is viewed as healthy or not, its just the routine we have got settled in. Anyway, I did not want to come across as controlling so said it was totally fine... but in all honesty, I can't help but feel a bit left out. I think it would help if my friends were going out as well, so I could go with them, but they're all staying in tonight and I know I won't be able to help but think about her and worry about her and whether she is okay... cas usually I'm with her when we go out. Is it normal for me to feel anxious and kinda left out? Or am i being too obsessive... I'm trying my best not to be controlling of her, so I haven't let her know how I feel and have just told her its fine... but in all honesty, I'm a bit upset about it cas its like the first time we've spent a weekend night apart, and she's going to her dads on Monday for a week, so I just can't stop asking myself why she doesn't wanna spend this time with me, like we'd planned.Please could somebody tell me their views on this, and maybe suggest how I can take my mind off her.Thankyou.JL :-)
View related questions:
her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (26 May 2006):
 Hey there is nothing wrong with feeling left out, but sometimes its nice to break routine, it might be nice and add a bit more to your relationship to let her go and do her own thing, it doesnt mean she loves you any less she just needs to still know who she is from time to time. If you are so used to it, maybe its a good idea to try and break the habit and make a few changes, it will enhance the relationship no end, as when you next see each other it wil better as you will have missed each other, take this as a good thing, she will be fresher after spending time with her friends, we all need to keep our individuality.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2006): Thankyou very much ShortandSweet! I'm trying my best to not appear clingy, cas thats one of the very things I was doing which was driving her away. I think we differ sometimes, cas I'd like it if she was clingy and obsessive with me - but then again, if we were both the same, things would be very uninteresting.
Anymore advice from anyone?
JL :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, ShortandSweet? +, writes (26 May 2006):
 Yes, my dear, of course it is normal to feel left out, but well done you for trying not to be too "controlling"; that's pretty mature. Sometimes people do need space; sometimes life just gets busy; the best you can do is give her some leeway. The worst is appearing possessive, clingy or controlling. If you are still worried, then explain your feelings in the most positive way possible - i.e. "I miss you when we're not together, is everything ok?" rather than "I feel left out". In the meantime, make some plans for yourself and enjoy some space of your own. Love her, but prove that you are not joined at the hip! Good luck
...............................
|
