A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,So I am in a bit of a bind. Last week, my girlfriend and I ended up having a fight over something completely stupid - on both parties. We were dating for almost 2 months (this week is 2 mo), and i got mad at her for texting her ex - under suspicion that i might be a rebound - and she got upset with me for not talking to her for a whole day. I went to her house, and almost broke up with her. We ended up fixing it, but the after effects are still present. A little history on the rebound thing: we started dating about a month after her last relationship, and claimed i wasnt a rebound. I didnt really trust her because i have trust issues with relationships (ive been in a rebound before and ive been cheated on). Also, im a rookie when it comes to dating. So when i tried breaking up with her, i used the rebound thing as a reason, and she got really upset that i would think that way, and said that i wasnt.Well we made up and continued on with the week... I began to notice that she was getting mad at me for stupid reasons, and her communication dwindled to a somewhat boring level. I didnt say anything till last night, and went over because she wanted to see me; she had a bad day and wanted me to cheer her up. We talked, and she told me alot of things. She said shes been stressed out about bills and school almost ending, and losing her job (rough spot). However, i noticed she was still holding something back, and i knew it was about me, so i eventually got her to talk about it.She basically said that i really hurt her the other day by doubting her and our relationship, and didnt know what to think about it. She said that after the fight, she became insecure about the relationship because shes worried that im going to act that way every time we have a fight and try to break up with her. Additionally, shes in a "serious mode," AKA looking for a future husband, and she knows im not on the same page. She said before we had that fight, she was ready to get serious in this relationship, but now shes not so sure.I reassured her about everything, apologized incessantly, and told her ill do anything to fix it. I really am sorry, and she knows that. She also said that she really likes me, and even though that fight really hurt her, she hasnt broken up with me for that reason. I just dont know what to do... I messed up by acting like that, and now i bruised the relationship. Do you think this is recoverable? What do you think she is thinking? Should i bring it up again next week or let her come to me? Whats going on...
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 At two months your bound to have a few fights over a few different issues. If she dumps the relationship over this, my guess is, that text to her ex was more serious than she'd like you to know about you just handed her the perfect escape. Give her a little space. If there's nothing going with her ex, she'll come around and it'll be a growth spurt for the relationship. If you're going to continue to see this girl, she has to understand what your red flags are, and you have to know hers. There has to be mutual respect of boundaries and if texting her ex is one of your red flags, she needs to stop. If she doesn't like you referring to yourself as the rebound guy, then you need to stop doing that. Relationships are about how we feel about certain things; because we are afterall, training our mates on how we want to be treated and anytime they do something that doesn't measure up to how we feel they should behave it becomes an issue. However if she loves you, then she should be able to understand your viewpoints and find a suitable compromise. Good luck.
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