A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically ... I was going to meet up with my boyfriend today. 10 minutes before I get on the bus, he calls to tell me that he's not ready, and wants to put it forward by a day. We see each other every 2-3 weeks. I flipped ... kinda, I was probably over-reacting. I'd been really looking forward to seeing him today, going to the cinema, going back to his place. I tried to persuade him that I didn't mind him getting presentable while I was there.... in the end, he said "I'm putting the phone down, I'm sorry." Then he did. Now, he's not answering his home phone and he's switched his mobile off. I'm tempted to try and contact a member of his family to get his Mum's number (he uses the computer there, and she also lives nearby)....help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk oldersister ...
ONE. The paranoid comment was not an accusation, rather a joke regarding just ONE of the replies (immediately assuming he's cheating!!), else I would not've put a silly face there.
TWO. I did not think to add the information I missed out as I was in an emotional state (like most posters) but something NikitaDisraeli said threw up a problem, so I thought it better to clarify.
THREE. I did take an aunt's advice - Uncle Sneaker's. Who says I have to follow the advice of every aunt that posts here - they're here to ADVISE, not to INSTRUCT.
However, the one thing you are right on is that I should have thanked these people. So, thankyou, Tisha, Sneaker, and NikitaDisraeli.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Well OP, that was pretty vital information, don't you think!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, the females of DearCupid are paranoid. :P
But perhaps I should explain further ... he has Asperger's Syndrome. He's pedantic and most of all, stubborn. It does take him hours to do a shower and shave.
He's just recently got in contact by text though, saying he was just feeling majorly guilty with himself, so shut off contact - not just from me, but everyone. I DID call his Mum though, who reassured me that he wouldn't be like this forever, and that she'd try and get hold of him.
Crisis averted!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Erm, does anyone else think this is a little wierd?
It kind of sounds to me like he was doing something he shouldn't have been - what kind of boyfriend minds their girlfriend seeing them get ready/takes that long to get ready.
Not trying to cast doubts about his fidelity, it's just that's how it looks to me.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 I'm pretty sure he'll turn it on at some point today, and will see the missed calls... Just give both of you a little time to calm down.
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male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Are you saying that what you really want to do is to apologise to him for over-reacting?
I'd say that it's quite understandable you were annoyed with him, and you really don't have a lot to apologise for. But I guess that would be a case of "win the battle and lose the war", if you see what I mean.
Yes, if he won't answer his phone or mobile then asking his mum to tell him you're sorry is a good move. Even better would be to go round to his place, knock on the door and tell him face to face (just make sure you look absolutely sexy and irresistible - it goes a long way to making it impossible for him to be angry with you!)
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut Tisha, how can I have a conversation with him if his phone is OFF? *lol*
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 July 2008):
I'm not really clear on how it would help to talk with him mother. Wouldn't that just be continuing the over-reaction you said you were having? And what can his mother do? She'll be forced to side with her son, that would be only natural. And you'll look like a hysterical woman to her, and that might not be what you're going for.
I can understand that you're angry at him, but maybe the best thing right now is that you back off before things are said that might end the relationship? Calm down a bit, and get your rational thinking back.
Deep breaths. Take yourself out for the day and switch off your own phone. Call a girlfriend to go out with. Go get a manicure. Go to the cinema on your own. Do anything right now that will keep you busy, and by the evening, you'll have calmed down enough to have a calm, frank discussion with him.
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