A
male
age
41-50,
*iggame
writes:Hello out there,So I had a very promising first date last week. We went to have dinner and we chatted with each other for about three hours. After our date was over I walk her to her subway stop, she then says I wish you didn't have to work tomorrow because I would like for us to hang out and I said well I get off of work at five so I will send you a text and see what's up. We then hug and kiss each other on the cheek. The following day I send here a thank you text for the awesome date, I never received a text back that day which was fine because I totally wasn't feeling well that day at all. It's now Saturday and I got together with a friend for dinner and I sent her a text saying that I am in the city let's meet later she sends me a text back saying "Hey! I'm staying in tonite" I reply with "well if you change your mind let me know....I'll talk to you later" I received no reply back. The following day I though about the situation a little and realized that I haven't talked to her on the phone that much and that we are always communicating over texting so I left her a message saying "just wanted to see how you're doing and that I hope that you had a good weekend" since I left that message no reply in any kind of form. She did say she was busy with an important event coming up for work, but that seems like i using that excuse as a last sign of hope. What do y'all think?
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Really, well than I guess its time to move on don't you agree. Don't spend anymore energy on a person who is not meeting you half ways.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): I say forget her!
You did what you could to make it a great first date, showed you were interested in more beyond that date, and clearly she's missing out.
Keep dating. Someone good will come around.
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A
male
reader, biggame +, writes (22 September 2010):
biggame is verified as being by the original poster of the questionstill no reply...
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (22 September 2010):
good luck!
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A
male
reader, biggame +, writes (21 September 2010):
biggame is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I am 31 but my dating age is that of a 17 year old. The female in interest is 26 and I know she has more dating and relationship experience. Anyway i forgot to tell you guys that I sent her a text before I posted this question, she has replied back she says "hi, I'm doing well indeed, how r u?" I told her that I am doing well and that I want to go to her event this Sunday but can't because of work being busy for the next two weeks, but that I want to take her out two Saturdays from now. Waiting for her reply...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Was there any alcohol involved? Many times if i have been drinking even just a little to the point where i was just tipsy, i say things i don't really mean. Could that be a possible issue?
Also, if i really liked a guy and he texted me about a date from the night before i would've been so happy and MADE time to see him. If you like someone, you make time to see them.
And just keep in mind she might also think you are nagging her, or she could see you becoming attached because you have tried to contact her so much.
Or lastly, she could even just be trying to play hard to get and test it out. But at your age, i don't think that should really be an issue, since a lot of the times people are over playing games at that point. You never know though! Hope this all helps!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Maybe give her a couple of days and then call her, not text her (messages can often be misunderstood). And then simply ash her out on another date, and find a time that is good for both of you. Take charge a little of when to meet and schedule to meet. The way you have been contacting her now seems like you plan other things before her, and she gets whatever time you have leftover. Which is ok, you have a life of your own, but instead of waiting for her to be ready whenever you are done with work or friends, plan something where both of you have time.
Women in general aren't too find of the impulsive dates (although occasionally they are nice). Planning a date gives us something to look forward to, and feel pampered. So, be precise. Don't ask her to meet you after work. Like jmc930 suggested, ask her specifically on a date at this and that time, and have a plan ready for where to go and what to do. Women love men who take charge as well.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (21 September 2010):
Assuming is not always good, ask her striaght out because she might infact be very busy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Honestly, yeah she is probably dating other guys. I mean she might be busy with work but there is no reason not to text back unless she is preoccupied you know what I mean...
When you took her to the subway and she said she wanted to keep hanging out she probably just wanted to hook up with you.
City girls are different from other girls. The city is a big place and it is much more socially accepable for women to date without attachments, without a stigma. Not only that but in the city women have so much more options. There are SO many options, good ones, the pool of quality men is so outstanding, that its like a buffet for the average woman. I know firsthand, living myself in the city for so many years. It makes women more relaxed, perhaps cockier.
You got a man-woman in your hands. My advice to you is play it cool, open your eyes to what's going on, and if you really really genuinely like her then give it a chance. Give it a week see if she responds. I always give people ONE week. If within that week they respond in a positive manner then I keep giving it a chance. If I don't hear from that person or he keeps being vague, I just write him off. And that's that. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): She might actually be really busy. She made it a point to comment that she wished you could stick around to hang out after the date, so she obviously likes you. Maybe she wanted you to stay longer that night because she knew the coming week would be really busy for her.
I think you could text her one last time, something to the effect of, "I'd like to spend time with you again. Would you like to go get coffee (or whatever she's into, you don't have to say coffee) with me Wednesday night at 7?"
If she says she's too busy, ask her to pick a day.
If she doesn't respond, move on. It's confusing because it sounds like she was really interested in you, but who knows what's going on with her!
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