| A
female
,
*rokenheart
writes: Hi, I really need your help. I'm about to go on a business trip with someone I had a brief fling with. The affair is over because I'm married. The thing is, I don't know how to face the other person because I still have feelings for him. I don't want to wind up in bed because we will be staying at the same hotel. I made a mistake. I love my husband but I still have feelings for the other guy. Please help me.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2005): If you have uncertainties about your feelings for this guy then you are "playing with fire". If you don't figure you can't resist this man, then you better avoid taking this trip with him or telling him "nothing will happen" between you both and avoid him as much as possible, on this trip. Make it all business...no hanky panky. Remember though, every time you are around this guy, you will have memories & flashbacks of the fling and it could make the tempations more tempting. A good analogy is: recovering alcoholics don’t hang out at liquor stores because they know better. For this same reason, you shouldn’t be hanging around your ex-lover especially if you value your marriage vows and what your love for your husband means to you. Why risk it? Be strong, be loyal to your husband and resist...resist...resist! Good luck
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (3 August 2005):
 You have to face up to The Fling Guy before the trip. You don't have to tell him that you still have feelings for him - that's a no-brainer, because you're married now and you made those solemn wedding vows - but you have to speak to him and clear the air before you find yourselves in a hotel room.
So, be brave, be friendly and try to speak to him in private well before you go. Say something like, "You know, Jase, I feel kind of weird about us being thrown together on this trip. I just wanted us both to be clear that it's all going to be professional and above board, even though we have a bit of history, right?"
The Fling Guy will probably laugh about the memory of your fling and then reassure you that, yes, of course it will be.
The reason that you're not going to "wind up in bed" is because you're not going to do anything to jeopardise your marriage, are you? So no going overboard with the drinkies, and no tempting each other into your rooms at the hotel etc. Act like professionals and colleagues, not like lovers, and nothing will happen.
Once this business trip is out of the way, you'll have proved to yourself that you're strong enough to resist him, and things should start to resolve.
Be strong. You can do it. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, erica +, writes (3 August 2005):
hey!
well my advice to you is to think about it twice. cuz you are married and you married your man cuz you love him right? becouse if your husband finds out then he might feel terrible and might leave you and who knows maybe that other guy just wants a one night stand. for sure your husband loves you thatz why i think he married you. imagine the same thing is happening to him. how would you feel if you found out that your man was going through the same thing. i might not make sense (sorry for that) but i think you should respect your merrage. cuz what goes around comes around meaning if you cheat he would to and it can happen worse. and when you come back and if you look at your husband in his eyes you can feel guilt. trust me. think about it twice girl. even though i dont know who you are and you dont know who i am. i wish the best for you. ok!
...............................
|
