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male
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*icky
writes: I'm a gay guy and have been in my first serious relationship for one and a half years. Eight months into the relationship I found texts from a guy arranging a meet for sex. He claims it was harmless banter between 2 friends. Two months into the relationship he caught a mild std. I found an empty lubricant packet in his car. He used to take another phone to work as well, which you could not access due to pin codes. We met on the net and he kept his profile on pc but he also had another profile saying he was young, free and single. I don't know what to think. I love him but don't want to made to look silly. Unsure what to do. Feel like I'm going mad
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (20 February 2006):
 No your not going mad.....this fella of yours is messing you about...all the evidence proves it.Is he really worth the heartache?.....I suggest you walk away now and find someone else who isnt going to fool you around.You deserve better....and you know what?.....i think you know that already.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): looks like you have answered yourself here. "those" kind of texts aren't banter. my OH has profiles on sex dating sites, etc. and was prepared to meet up with someone for sex, of course he denied it and made up some rubbish, but it seems that's exactly what this guy is doing to you. it will be hard but you need to confront him about it. don't worry about looking silly. it's better to look silly than to get hurt in a relationship without trust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): Forward him this post you made. Ask him what you should do. I mean, it's difficult really. If my gf is having thoughts about me cheating on her, I would quite appreciate it if she would confront me directly. If I deny it, and she still thinks it's true, what am I going to do? Be pissed off? Unless I have went out of my way to prove to her I am not cheating, I'm sure she can still demand an explanation for the mild STD and the lubricant. What did he do with the lube? Was he fingering himself? Hmmmm....
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