A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm 22 and my girl is 19. we had a fight few hours ago. it's because of 1 silly thing, a game...she's a moody person, she changed too fast from nice and lovely to nasty and bad. i don't even know if i said bad or wrong words to her. as far as i know i just wrote im sorry for like hundred of times and ask for forgiveness. I’m the one who always apologizes everytime we had a fight. we are on LDR so it might be hard for us to know our real feelings. now she's waiting for her final exam scores, so i think she got stress from that thing. she promised that she will get back when she finish with it.but now she's changing again.if i could illustrate on what happened back then, it was like this...her : where did you got that nickname?me : i got it from an event, daily random oneher : why you didn't tell me about it??me : i wanna tell you about it but i just find it out after you got off last nighther : aha..me : omg..her : go awayme : omg why??her : go awayme : okay *logged off from the game*her : goodher : why you never tell me everything?? *pissed icon*her : from now on i wont tell you anythingher : i swearme : omg okay*few minutes later*me : im quittingher : quit what??me : the gameher : ok*bla bla bla*she keeps answering with ok or what. so i texted her to say that i have to go to sleep,thank you for reading my text and i said i love her. she texted me back with " so you wanna break up?? ok then. dont worry. i wont bother you again. have a happy life. bye"i never say i wanted to break up with her, i do love her for what she is. her inner and her outside beauty. i keep apologizing till now by text or by offline messages. i dont know what did i do that makes her pissed like this. I don’t know what to do, please help me. what should i do to make her forgive me???Thank you.(i just sent her a text for her forgiveness few minutes ago)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): thank you for your reply,
i tried to call her but she dont want to pick it up and keeps rejecting my call. i could accept that, because she needs her privacy. she keeps doesnt want to discuss it, i even talked to her mom. but it still gives me no clue on what happening between us. i trying to give her some space right now to see on what happened, but she keep hiding it.
if i may say if its reoccuring pattern, yes it is reoccuring even its not really the same pattern. but thanks for your helps guys.i really appreciate it. i'll try to do my best to solve this problem with cool minded. im still recieving more answers.
thanks guys, "topic starter"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): Have there been any previous problems in the relationship? It's just the way she said "You never tell me anything", is there any reason she might say that?
If you are still clueless as to what is wrong though, then it sounds like she has some issues at the moment. It could be stress, it could be that she is insecure. But I don't think it is fair for her to be nasty to you, and make you feel bad.
It sounds like this is a recurring pattern, her getting upset about something, you not knowing what it is, and then you feeling like you need to apologise a million times. And if she is ignoring you now, after you have apologised, it sounds a bit immature of her to me.
My advice would be, stop the apologies. You don't know what you did wrong. Maybe you didn't do anything. In fact, I can't think of what it is that you said that could have upset her. So why are you apologising? If you had genuinely said something nasty to her, then yes, I could understand. But you haven't. If you apologise, it is almost like you are saying to her, "Yes, I have upset you, my bad mistake, sorry".
But you need to understand that we are all responsible for our feelings. It is fine to be sorry that she is feeling this way. So maybe you could say something like, "I am sorry you are feeling upset/annoyed/whatever, I'd like to help, would you tell me what is bothering you?" Rather than, "I'm sorry I upset you, please forgive me".
I don't know if I'm making sense here! But please try and stop blaming yourself for how she is feeling. It's like she wants to make you the bad guy, the reason why she is feeling all these negative feelings. But I don't think it really has anything to do with you. I suspect her issues could be deeper, but because she may not be ready, or willing, to deal with them, she is displacing her feelings onto you.
I hope this has made some sense! And I hope you are able to resolve things with your girlfriend. x
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A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Unfortunatly this may be the opening she thinks she has found to break it off with you.
You should be prepared for this but most importantly you should open up a channel of communications with her. Ask her what is going on and ask her if she is intent on breaking up with you or if there is something else wrong. If you want to stay with her then tell that you are willing to do what it takes to fix things if she will still work together with you.
However, as I said, be prepared for the possibility that she just wants to break off the relationship with you.
Doc
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (4 July 2009):
You two only communicate thru typed words? Unless you both are awesome writers, emotion cant be fully expressed with words. Instead of txting and messaging- call her. Then you wont be so confused about what she means or why she says what she says. Its the best thing to do- call her.
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