A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me! My husband walked out on my 6 days ago after a fight. He said he was going to stay at his mothers. I don't like a husband can just up and leave like this I never would do this to him. He has try to call but I'm to hurt to answer I think he should come home and say sorry not fob me off with a tex or call. I 'm at home crying and crying and we only been married 8 months. The fight was about him spending more time with me. I just don't know what to do. Also a family member died and his upset about that. But I cant help if he runs away. Am I'm blind is he cheating or don't he love me anymore? PLEASE HELP Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Hi newlywed,
(Congratulations!)
I agree with jonas & the female anonymous that you need to have patience & (I don't want to be rude) but you're being a little selfish. I understand you are newlywed & wants to enjoy time with him. Its exciting, you hope & expected so much, but your husband just lost a family member. People take it different ways, maybe he's so shocked & overwhelmed.
To you walking away is wrong & you'd never do such, but I am sure your husband had his reasons. Just be patience, don't be too hard on him, try to understand his feelings too.
Just because you both are not spending as much as times as you'd like doesn't mean he doesn't care, or love you any less.
Don't be mad anymore, don't fight anymore, accept his apologies & enjoy your new husband & your new life..
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to add that I only found out someone had died after he said he was leaving not before. And no he wants to spend weekends playing sports not with me. Its not to do with his job. Yes I do nag maybe thats true. But walking out on me leaving me no money for food etc is wrong.
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A
female
reader, d'writer  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 I do agree with the others..I guess you have more problem to resolve within yourself than your husband....please don't be selfish...a good marriage needs a give and take, not just me, me and me....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Seems like you two could use some help. Have you considered some marriage counseling?
Obviously the communication between the two of you is not working.
Also, if he keep running off every time you two disagree how is anything going to get resolved? Seems very immature of him.
Why not just tell him (when he calls you) to come home and talk it out?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): In my opinion you seem to think about only how you feel..It's me , me , me...I want him to be this, I want him to be that....You said a family member died, so you know that he is grieving yet all you can think about is yourself and you cause a row because of it.....He left because he is stressed out by you and your nagging and your obvious lack of support in a time when he needs you.....If he stayed at home with you would you make his life any easier?....I doubt very much that he is cheating(why you are letting your imagination run away with you baffles me, you know where he is- he is at his mums)......Stop nagging, give him the support he needs at this hard time.....Learn how to communicate softly and lovingly to him, just speak from your heart without anger , frustration and irritation ...When you talk to him give him time to let what you have sais sink rather than expect an instant reaction ...Be patient with him....Speak to older couple who are in happy relationships just to learn how they communicate in hard times.....Phone him , just to see how he is doing and let him know that you are there to support him...Make him feel safe to come back home cos at the moment in your state of mind how do you expect him to look forward to coming home....Nagging drives men away, whether or not what you are nagging about is true ...You have to find a way of communicating your needs without overwhelming him....You say he has lost a family member so I suggest you concerntrate on helping him through his grief, you can get to spend time with him and perharps draw closer .....this kind of kindness and support is what a man needs, I'm sure he will not be adverse to returning the affection...One step at a time..... maturity and patience is how you should go about your problems at home
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): Mothers and Fathers typically only stay together for the children, if you don't have any children and you can't talk to him about then leave him it doesn't matter
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