A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:ok so thers this guy (lets call him X) who i know really well and i kinda like him i guess but hes being really confusing and acting like he likes me sometimes but then not sometimes. We're really good friends and hes like my best guy friend so i cant tell if he likes me or if hes just being my friend. So pretty much he always talks to me and we always laugh a lot when we talk to each other. I used to have a bf and X said he really didnt like him and this other guy asked me out later and X said he hated him too then this guy said he liked me and X said he seemed like a stoner and i said its ok i dont like him and he asked me what made me not like him. We worked on a project together before and once he was just randomlly like i love your laugh and then he looked at me for awhile and then just laughed and changed the subject. At the beginning of the year he said he never texts people because he hates texting but then he texts me all the time and he never texts anyone else even his best guy friend. When I talk to him about fam problems and stuff he actually cares and hes like im sorry which he never really does to anyone else. When his friend who i know really well talks to me he sometimes gets mad or seems kinda jealous and always tries to come into the conversation and make me pay attention to him. He makes fun of me a lot in a joking way and if he thinks im offended he always makes sure i know he was just kidding hes like you know i was kidding right? Also, all my friends said he acts different around me and they think he likes me. But he does a lot of stuff that makes me think he doesnt like me too. It seems like if he liked me he would always come and talk to me but a lot of times in class he just sits at his desk and like sleeps when its free time and everyone else is talking. And someone who likes you usually like looks at you in class or something but whenever i look at him hes not looking at me. When i mentioned something about girlfriends before he always said he was never gona have a girlfriend and he didn't have time becaue of sports. He gets mad when i wear makeup and hes like who ru trying to impress your just with your friends you dont have to wear makeup. He says a lot that he forgets that im a girl so it makes me think that he thinks of me more as a guy friend than a girlfriend but i cant tell. Does it seem like he likes me at all as more than a friend or is he just being nice because im his friend i cant tell please help!
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 October 2011):
Hi there. It's pretty fair to say that he probably does like you quite a lot.
As you have said yourself, you and him are often talking and laughing together, so at the very least you are good friends.
Most relationships usually begin as being good friends. So it's a good start.
What he said about sport keeping him busy would be true, so at least you know that.
If he was to take the extra step and make it into a boyfriend and girlfriend status, well then it could affect his sports and he obviously enjoys the sports, and it's an important part of his life.
He could be thinking along the lines of if he was to make you his girlfriend, that you might make some demands on his time and not want him to continue with his sports, so he doesn't want that to happen. He probably doesn't want to have his life controlled by anyone else but him.
And that's completely fair, don't you think?
The chances are, you probably wouldn't want your life to change like that either.
Because supposing you and him were to become an item, and you started making demands on each other, pretty soon you would both become very unhappy.
So enjoy friendship for now, and see over time how things develop.
Don't try to rush things.
Everything is as it should be.
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