A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over 17 months now and its going great. Apart from that my boyfriend has made it perfectly clear that he doesnt want to marry me or have any children. I am 26 years old and he is 37. He's been married before and has an 11 year old boy who I get on very well with. My question is, should I coninue to stay with him in the hope he may change his mind. In the early stages of our relationship he would say he couldnt wait to spend the rest of his life with me but now he's cooled off. I dont want to waste my life and love on someone who isnt going to give me what i want. It scares me because i love him so much and couldnt imagine being without him in my life. We have discussed this and how i feel and he apologies, saying he's a bad boyfriend but doesnt think he'll change his mind. I see him with his son and how his eyes light up when he's in the room. It breaks my heart and makes me hate him for taking that chance of feeling the love of a child away from me. I wont pressure him into anything he doesnt want to do but i have my future to think of. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): God damn he's my age and he wont marry a 26 year old stunner like you! He's off his rocker! Where's the guys balls! Man give me that anyday!
Anyway its not as important as your life with each other, at the end of the day its a piece of paper that only has meaning for the people that give it that meaning! Dont sweat it but if you really want to get married princess I'd be given that guy an altermatim like he'd never forget!
I swear some people just cant see what they got!!!
Jeez i'm 37 this month, damn 26 is know my favourite number!
Good Luck
Romance King!
A
female
reader, xLEAHx +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Hi there,
Your right why would you wanna waste your life with someone who cant give you what you want,i dont think he will change his mind as he has been there and done that, been married and had a child,im sorry to say but these things happen,his also not being very fair to you by staying with you knowing he won't give you what you want in the future,your 26 and at this age now you want a family and security its only natural, you proberly think your biological clock is ticking away..i know its gonna be heart breaking for you because you love this guy but think about what you really want in life, and what your missing out on because at the end of the day if you stay in this relationship with no marriage or children your end up a very unhappy woman resenting him and also his son from his previous marriage,so hunny i advise you to tell him how you really feel and if he comes up with the same answare its time to say goodbye and find happiness and what you want with someonelse...
goood luck in whatever disision you decide to make ...xLEAHx
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A
female
reader, Tanyas247  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 It seems clear that you want a family and a husband, and he has no plans for such a relationship. A partnership is about choices more than feelings sometimes. If you both make different choices, and want different things, you will not be happy as time passes. You are young, intelligent, and feeling strongly for this man. Just remember that with so many people in the world, you will no doubt meet someone who shares your dreams and feelings.
After 17 months of doing anything, including being with someone, your mind will forget how you felt before. This doesn't mean it's bad to be without! It means that you should always make choices for yourself, ultimately, because you don't want to be unhappy and blame your partner later because you settled for a life you weren't satisfied with just for him.
Be true to yourself to avoid regret. Find someone who will share that same ecstatic joy of having their first child together, making a start together. It's more valuable in the long run. Don't waste your time with the man who has seen and done it all. Your life still has the chance to be fresh and exciting!
Best,
Tanya
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